


A father, a daughter, a family

by Zoya113



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Dysfunctional family tw, Father figure hidgens, Gen, abuse tw, but - Freeform, depressive thoughts tw, tbh if you’ve latched on to a teacher as an authority figure, this is simultaneously the fic for u and not for u
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-07-31 20:13:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 35,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20121013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya113/pseuds/Zoya113
Summary: After moving back to Hatchetfield after Jane’s death, everything in life seems to suck for Emma except one certain professor





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> We love projection as a coping mechanism lmao

“Sorry professor, do you have a moment?” Emma slowly creaked open the door to Professor Hidgens’ office, taking a cautious step inside.  
“Oh, hello! You’re from my Biology course, correct?” The professor turned in his office chair and looked up at her with a patient smile. “Emma...” he trailed off and his eyes rolled to the side in thought. “Perkins! Right? How may I help you?”  
Emma nodded, not quite intending to be remembered. “Yeah, uh, sorry, I had a question about class today? I just didn’t want to bother you while you were teaching,” she started, tripping over her words in an effort to get them out fast enough as not to take up much of her professor’s time.  
“Ah!” Hidgens dropped his pen down on his desk and leant forward to show his interest. “Why do you need to apologise dear? This is my job after all! Come inside, close the door, have a seat!”  
Emma froze for a moment, looking at his welcoming smile. It was almost too welcoming. She eased herself down into the chair with tense, awkward smile.  
“So, Ms Emma Perkins, what may I do for you?”  
“I was just wondering about what you said when you were talking about like, organelles?”  
Hidgens snickered, “Well there are quite a few of those my dear.”  
“Uh, Sorry! I’m talking about like- uh, you know about the one that’s like, the, ugh, sorry,” Emma put a hand to her face to cover the frustrated red of her cheeks. “The cell wall, or was it the membrane? Which is the one that’s in plant cells?”  
“Oh, the cell wall yes, what’s your past experience with Biology, Emma?”  
“Sorry, I’m stupid, I haven’t touched Bio since I was like 16,” Emma fiddled anxiously with her hair.  
“That’s not a problem!” Hidgens shrugged. “That doesn’t make you stupid. You know it’s always the highest scoring students that ask the questions, I’m sure you’re going to do just great in my class.”  
Emma was too flustered to reply. It had been a long time since anyone had said anything nice to her like that.  
“And what about the cell wall? Are you interested in plants?”  
“You could say that,” she chuckled quietly, covering her face with her hand. “Uh, look, sorry for wasting your time it wasn’t even an important question. I’ll just google it and find out. Sorry to bother you.”  
“You weren’t a bother at all, miss, it was lovely to get to know you. I’ll see you tomorrow, yes?”  
“Yes, thank you professor. See you then.”  
Hidgens nodded, smiling. “Yeah, I’ll see you then.” 

———————————————————

“You’re late,” Emma’s father looked up from the TV as she came in through the front door.  
“Sorry, I was studying in the library,” she glanced down at the bottle of beer in his hands. Things had been rough after what happened to Jane.  
“Well you missed dinner,” he hadn’t looked at her yet.  
“Sorry, I’ll just get something out of the fridge,” she moved quickly, not wanting to hang around. “Where’s mum?” She tried to change the topic.  
“In bed already. It’s late.”  
Emma nodded, resorting to grabbing a banana from the fruit bowl. She lingered for a few more seconds, knowing her father wanted to speak.  
“You shouldn’t expect us to make your dinner when you’re 30, Emma.”  
“I know, dad.”  
“Uh, Em,” her father called on her absently. “Did you go to that thing today?”  
“College? Yeah. I got to talk with my professor, he’s actually pretty nice...” she trailed off when she noticed he wasn’t listening.  
“She was really good with keeping up with her work,” her dad muttered. “Your sister, that is.”  
Emma bit down on her lip, quietly clearing her throat. “I’ll be good at this too, dad. I’ve been trying to keep up with all my work this time and I was just talking about how I was already talking with my Bio professor.”  
Her dad shrugged.  
“I’m gonna go to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning,” Emma pulled her hair from its bun, letting her shoulders fall.  
“Nah, I’m seeing a friend tomorrow. I’ll be out,” he grunted as he shifted in his chair, rising and making his way to the kitchen. He was moving her way but he still refused to meet her eyes.  
Emma was silent, slipping out of his way as he passed. “That’s fine, I thought you were gonna drive me but I can walk. That’s all good. It’s fine, sorry.”  
“I can’t drive you everywhere, Emma,” he fished around in the fridge for another can of beer before shuffling back towards the couch. He elbowed Emma’s arm, pushing her out of his way.  
She grunted as she was pressed up against the wall. “I know. You’ve already told me, I said I’d walk. Goodnight.” She turned on her heels to dart down the hallway before he could continue.  
Emma hadn’t driven a car since she was a teenager and she certainly didn’t intend to start driving again after what happened to Jane.  
She shut her bedroom door quietly, kicking off her shoes and sitting down cross legged on her bed, chewing absently on her makeshift dinner.  
Things were complicated. It was always ‘you’re 30, you can do this on your own, you shouldn’t still live with your parents you’re a full grown woman,’ but at the same time ‘why are you out so late? You’re never home’ and it was confusing.  
She didn’t want to put up with their words, she missed Guatemala. Plunging back into Hatchetfield and social connections and work and school was too much, but she was doing it for Jane.  
She flopped down onto her pillow, a dull pain pulsing through her body as she realised a bruise was already forming on her arm.  
Everyone in Hatchetfield sucked.  
Well, except maybe one certain professor.

———————————————————

It was a whole new class of all new students and Hidgens’ was excited to teach. He had already met a few of them after last weeks sessions but he had his eyes on one particular student.  
Emma Perkins, he had enjoyed her visit yesterday but sensed something was wrong.  
She had spoken too hesitantly, as if she was asking for permission. She apologised too much and was too slow to smile.  
Hidgens’ watched her enter the lab. She was dragging her feet and yawning. There were dark rings under her eyes and she was fiddling with her hands.  
Throughout the lecture he kept glancing over at her, she was doing her best to pay attention but there was clearly something else on her mind.  
He was sure to give her a smile and a wave when he managed to catch her eyes at the end of the lecture but there was a darkness in them that concerned him.  
She flashed a quick smile but didn’t wave back. “Uh, Emma,” he called her before she could exit and she ducked to the side, leaving the stream of students headed out the door.  
She waited by the door awkwardly, an unsure look plastered her face. “Yes, sir?”  
“Are you okay?” He asked. “Sorry if I’m prying, you just looked a bit distracted today.”  
“Oh! Sorry, it’s nothing. I’ll make sure to catch up with the notes tonight after work. I was just a bit tired, sorry.”  
“Oh, dear, don’t apologise for that. Im more worried about you, is something wrong?”  
Emma seemed more surprised than before, her eyes flying open as if she was suddenly more awake than before. “Sorry, I’ve just been a little busy with some stuff. I haven’t been in Hatchetfield for too long, I actually just got back from travelling and you know. It’s just jet lag or post-travel depression or something dumb like that. I’ll be fine tomorrow.”  
Hidgens reached out, giving her a gentle pat on the shoulder. “Take your time. You won’t miss anything important if you need to stay home for a day. I can always email you the work you’ve missed.”  
She gave a more confident smile, snorting. “Hah, oh no way am I staying at home,” she sounded incredulous but was quick to elaborate. “Because class is important!”  
Hidgens nodded understandingly, letting a worried murmur escape his lips. “Dear, that’s very enthusiastic. Just make sure you’re looking after yourself, okay?”  
Emma was smiling now at least, but she rolled her eyes ever so slightly. “Thanks, Professor.”  
“Okay?” He repeated.  
Emma’s jaw dropped and she nodded. She hadn’t expected him to hold her to it.  
“Good, don’t be afraid to take a break Emma.”


	2. You don’t look healthy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma’s starting to think Hidgens might be more of a parents then her real family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are we back to my daily upload tomfoolery??? Maybe

Oh she was stupid.   
Stupid, stupid, stupid.   
How could she screw up that badly?   
She couldn’t fall asleep, her mind fixated on everything that had happened today.  
She had made a fool out of herself talking to her professor.   
The way he had looked at her like that, the way she had replied.  
Everything about the way she had spoken was wrong.   
But now she had the afternoon off and had scheduled herself in for a short little meltdown.   
She bundled herself up in her blankets and curled up.   
She probably shouldn’t care this much. She probably shouldn’t be so hung up on whether or not her professor liked her, chances are if she stopped talking to him he would forget about her in the sea of his students, but she didn’t like that idea.   
She wanted him to know her, she wanted him to like her and to think she was smart and good at her work and that she cared for the class.   
Maybe it was some by-product of Jane left in her, a desire to be good just like her sister to please her parents, but the idea didn’t quite fit the hole in her chest. No, she was quite sure it had nothing to do with her parents.   
She liked the way he spoke to her, calm and patient and without anger or a poorly hidden disappointment. She liked when he called her ‘dear’ as if he actually cared for her. Yes, she liked that quite a lot.   
It felt nice to be cared for, it warmed her up for only a second, filling that hole.   
But once it was inside her it tore her open.   
It was all just hopeful thinking, he cared for her as much as every other student. She wasn’t special to him, he probably wasn’t thinking about her. He would probably be confused and angry or disgusted if he knew how fixated on their conversations she was getting, but it was human to want to be cared for. As much as she wanted to be alone her whole life, for once she wanted someone to care for her, for once she couldn’t get her words right and for once she was worrying about how someone saw her. She wanted him to care for her and make sure she was okay, and upon further thinking he was the only one she would want to talk to about how she felt about Jane - definitely not her own parents.   
Oh well, she shouldn’t be stupid. It was just the loneliness and depression talking. He probably had a wife and children - even grand children maybe. He had no need to think about her outside of classes. He had probably already read her first essay and decided based on how awful it was that he didn’t really like her.   
She balled up that feeling in her stomach and tossed it to the back of her mind with the rest of her problems she had been suppressing and ignoring.   
Life was gonna suck for a while, she should just admit it.  
———————————————————

Emma felt like her life consisted of three things - going to work and working every shift she can, going to campus for class and studying until it shuts and then inevitably returning home in the early hours of the morning, sneaking past her drinking father and her crying mother and hiding in her room. She had been running on three or four hours of sleep a day and sometimes as little as only an apple or a sandwich to eat all day.   
It was only when she finally found time for a shower that she realised how awful she was starting to look.   
She examined the sullen, yellowing dips under her eyes and the parts of her face where the bones stuck out too much. Her skin was taut around her rib cage and there was an awful curve between her ribs and her hips. Her skin was a blotchy, pale white and was starting to break out.   
She put a hand to her aching head and dressed herself again.   
She would have to make more of an effort to find time to eat but there was just nothing around the house.  
Her mother hadn’t been to the shops since the accident and her dad was always far too drunk to drive. She felt like a thief in her own home, deciding whether or not she was hungry enough to resort to eating the out of date biscuits at the back of the pantry or the strange left overs from three days ago in the fridge, it was probably a casserole or something similar but the jury was still out on that one.   
Of course she had the money to buy her own groceries, especially with all the extra shifts she had been working but that money went towards moving out.  
Life had been just about as stale as the food she had been scavenging, that’s why it meant a world of difference when she ran into Hidgens at the shops.  
“Oh! Hello Emma!” He smiled.  
Emma gave a weak grin back, her head had been aching all day.   
“Hi, Professor,” she stopped in her tracks, smiling as wide as she could and feeling her heart race a little faster with excitement, it was probably the most interesting thing to have happened in a while.   
“You wouldn’t mind helping me find the rice, would you? I definitely don’t do my groceries often enough,” he joked.   
Emma shrugged, “uh, aisle three I think. I know the feeling, I haven’t been here in a while.”   
“What do you mean by that?”  
“I’m living with my parents so, usually they’re in charge of their own food but they want me doing my own cooking now,” she explained sheepishly.   
“Do you like to cook?”   
Emma shook her head. “I’m pretty awful at it actually. I don’t know many recipes.”   
Hidgens smiled as if he had come up with an idea. “I know a lovely recipe, it’s one of my favourites, very quick and simple, cheap too. I’ll send it to you! Would you like that?”  
Emma nodded. “I’d love that. I’m pretty fucking hopeless in that department,” she chuckled.  
“Well that’s not a problem my dear,” he dipped his head. “How are you feeling today?” He added. “You’re looking a bit pale.”   
“Oh, I’m doing just fine, pretty good. I’m actually just grabbing some stuff for breakfast now.”   
Hidgens looked at his watch but didn’t say anything. “Emma, can I check something?”   
“What?” Emma took a hesitant step back, knowing she had things to hide.   
“When was the last time you went to a doctor?” He asked. “I’m going to touch your face, let me know if you need me to stop,” he placed his thumb besides her eye and pulled lightly. “You’re sick,” he told her, letting go of her face.   
“What?” She gaped, still a little shocked but admittedly touch-starved.   
“Well that’s how you can tell, if the tissue under your eyelid is white instead of red. Do you have a cold?”  
Emma for once had not a single idea what to say. “I didn’t know I was sick, I must be fine.”  
“Well you can lie but your body won’t. You should see a doctor, how did you sleep last night?”   
“I slept fine,” she murmured, studying the ground. Her eyes were starting to get watery, she didn’t like to be interrogated like this.   
“Darling, there are such bad circles under your eyes, and what did you have for dinner last night?”   
“I didn’t get home until midnight, I just had an apple. It’s nothing, I’m fine.”   
“I told you, you should be taking time for yourself dear. I’m going to send you some recipes, can you let me know what you think? What sounds good to you, we’ll get the ingredients now. You don’t look healthy, Emma.”


	3. Groceries and bruises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma’s parents don’t approve

“Oh, what’s all this Emma?” Hidgens held back a surprised gasp when Emma invited herself into his office for the first time, her hands completely full with shopping bags.  
She settled them down besides his desk and gave a satisfied grin.  
“Your groceries!” She announced.  
“My groceries?” He gave a smile, albeit a confused one.  
Emma nodded. “You told me you didn’t go grocery shopping as much as you should! So I bought you all those ingredients you had in the recipes you sent me, you said they were your favourites.”  
“Emma, I can’t accept these it’s too much,” he felt guilt even laying his eyes on them. There were about six bags all up.  
Emma shook her head. “Well you’d better, I’m not taking them back. I purposely didn’t ask for the receipt.”  
“Well how much was it? I’ll give you the money.”  
“Don’t!” She shook her head. “I have the money. If I’m not here I’m at work. These are for you, I can help you take them to your car. No complaining, I’m returning the favour.”  
“Oh Emma,” he could feel his eyes start to tear up. “It was just doing the right thing, it was a favour not a chore.”  
“Well then this is a favour too! You’re like, the best professor I’ve ever had. When I was younger my teachers couldn’t be fucked trying to help me out. All they did was give me shit for struggling and get disappointed in me,” she rolled her eyes. “You know?”  
Hidgens nodded. “I’m glad you feel looked after, Emma dear.” He liked the way her cheeks grew rosy and her smile widened when he called her that, as if she knew he cared. “I’m very, very happy that you’re feeling better.” He dabbed at the corner of his eyes with his sleeve to dry them off.  
Emma beamed at him, “I am now! I tried out a few of those recipes, I’ve made one of them for lunch today and I really like how fast they are to make, like I’ve actually got time to eat now!”  
The implication she hadn’t had the time before was a little shocking but with her slim frame not surprising. He was just happy she was eating again.  
“I’ll bring you some of my old cookbooks to borrow tomorrow if you’d like. You probably need them more than me. Getting better at cooking?”  
“Well I’m getting somewhere, that’s for sure!” She laughed. “I’d really appreciate that Hidgens!” She was trying to hide the bounce in her feet, rocking back and forth from heel to toe instead.  
By now, Emma was one of his regular students to visit him. He was happy to see how much more comfortable she had grown around him. She stopped apologising for asking questions and sometimes she stopped by his office just to talk. He appreciated the company more than she would know. “Thank you, Emma.”  
“Nah, it wasn’t a problem!” Her eyes flicked to the grocery bags. “Let me know if I can ever do it again!” 

———————————————————

“Lovely to finally have you home for dinner for once,” her father grunted.  
“Well you know, I’ve been busy I guess,” Emma took a bite so she wouldn’t have to speak.  
“Jane was never out this often. Where else are you going?” Her mother questioned.  
“Work,” Emma answered.  
“Don’t speak with your mouth full,” her father cut her off.  
Emma nodded, exhaling through her teeth and remaining silent.  
“Are you doing well at school?”  
She didn’t like when her mum called it school, it was like she was some sort of kid. “College? Yeah! I’m actually getting along really well with my professor, I like him a lot.”  
Her parents exchanged glances and there was a moment of quiet before they continued.  
“What’s your professor like?”  
“Well he’s an older man so I guess he must appreciate the company,” she probably liked it just as much as him.  
“It’s not company, he’s the teacher,” her dad snorted.  
“Oh, no! Sorry, it’s like, I go to his office sometimes. We ran into each other at the shops the other day too. He gave me the recipe for dinner actually! Sometimes I like to stop by his office for a chat.”  
“You shouldn’t bother your professor like that,” her mother chided.  
Her dad set down his fork and pushed his plate away. “Why is he giving you recipes? Is he inviting you into his office?”  
“Well,” Emma’s face turned red with frustration, knowing where her dad was trying to steer the conversation. “No, but his office is always open, he’s a teacher.”  
“You shouldn’t be hanging around older men, Emma. Are you sure he’s safe? He shouldn’t be wanting to be around a young girl like yourself for just ‘company.’”  
“Can you not say that please?” Emma snapped, not letting her fear of her parents win over her anger. “Can you not imply that? He’s like a dad, he’s just making sure I’m alright there’s nothing else to it dad. He’s my friend.”  
“He’s twice your age,” her mother put in. Her mother looked weary enough, now she was starting to look worse.  
“He’s my professor. I’m just...” Emma sighed. “I’m just asking him questions about coursework.”  
“Why don’t you have any friends, Emma?”  
She laughed dryly. “Skipping to the point, aren’t you?” She had stopped eating dinner a while ago. “I talk with my professor, I have acquaintances in class, I don’t need anyone else.” Well, there was one specific daily customer who she had grown to like, although daydreaming about him didn’t really count as a relationship.  
“What about your coworkers?”  
“Well I’m twice my managers age so? And you can’t tell me not to be friends with my professor and then go ahead and ask why I’m not friends with my boss.”  
“She’s your age, she’s a young girl like you.”  
“Fuck, dad,” Emma let out a defeated rasp. “I’m busy in life right now okay?”  
“Language, Emma!” Her mother cut in. “Can’t you just behave?”  
Emma stood up from the table, turning her back to her parents as she took her plate to the sink. “Sorry. I’ll behave.”  
“Good girl,” her dad muttered absently like he was still talking to a child.  
Emma rolled her eyes. “But I’m an adult okay? I can like, do my own things.” She tried to make it sound more like a fact that a question but it didn’t work out. Now that she was standing she could feel her legs had started to turn weak, shaking ever so slightly.  
“We just don’t want you hanging out with that man, for your own safety,” her mother tried to reason.  
“He isn’t some creep, mum! He’s literally just my professor, sorry for taking an interest in my classes for once!” She huffed, dropping her knife and fork in the sink with a crash.  
“That’s enough,” her dad stood up and Emma could barely stand anymore as he stormed towards her. “You do not talk to your mother or me like that, okay?” He grabbed the back of her collar and lead her down the hallway to her bedroom, his arm against her back to shove her along. He pressed his elbow into her back to push her into her room.  
“Learn your lesson before you try that again. You live in this house you do what we say, okay?”  
“Yes dad,” her words came out quivering and breathy.  
He shot her a grimace before slamming the door.  
“I miss Jane,” she heard her mother start her crying.  
The implication was clear there - ‘Jane shouldn’t have been the one in the crash.’  
She let her legs buckle and fell to the ground, pressing her back up against the door and hanging her head.  
Still, she wasn’t going to cry.  
She could feel a series of bruises she had accumulated from her fathers rough behaviour on her back and leaned forward again to ease the feeling.  
The emotional wounds hurt more than the bruises, really.  
She bet Hidgens wouldn’t treat her like this


	4. Hidgens’ house

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hidgens gives Emma the hand she needs when her parents finally get under her skin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretend I didn’t make that typo in the last chapter ksnfkshfjg Hidgens IS supposed to treat her well not not treat her well I don’t proof read ever omghdhfhshfj

Emma usually made a purposeful effort not to let her parent’s words get under her skin but today she couldn’t even make eye contact with Hidgens.  
He had waved to her in the hallway and she had panicked, mouthed a ‘hello’ and power-walked away with a red face.  
Her parents always ruined these things for her. They made her question if her friends actually liked her, or if she was any good or if she was worth it.  
She could hear her doubts in her mother’s voice, her childhood was always ‘do you really want to bother her with that? She probably has her own problems’ and ‘are you sure he actually wants to hang out with you?’ And as much as she knew it was a mother’s worried concerns it was far more detrimental to her health.  
God, it took ten years to get those beliefs out of her head off in Guatemala, she had been back for no more than a month and her parents were already back at it, getting into her head and controlling her with their ideas.  
In class she sat further back than usual. Today she was getting tired, all those hours of missed sleep finally catching up to her.  
She let her head sink into her hands and yawned. She didn’t know what Hidgens was explaining to the class but her fight with her parents was getting to her. She felt more numb than usual and let his words wash over her head. She hated how she never managed to earn any respect from her and how they expected full respect from her back, what she hated even more was that she gave it to them.  
Her arms were getting tired from holding her head so she let it rest on the table.  
She just didn’t care about shit today.  
By the time the students started to stir and exit the lab she was too tired to care. Her brain was walking the line between sleep and consciousness and she was ready to fall until someone put a hand on her back.  
Emma jolted, not only because she wasn’t expecting anyone but also because the culprit managed to make contact with one of her worse bruises.  
“Emma? Class is over.” It was Hidgens.  
Emma’s head was too tired to process the rush of feelings and let out a groan instead. “Sorry,” she started. “I’m getting out, just blinked out for a sec,” she yawned.  
“Sorry, did I scare you?” He asked.  
Emma shook her head. “Nah, I’m fine.” She rubbed her eyes and winced. “I’ve got this shitty bruise on my back, you really hit the target there,” she explained, too tired to filter her words.  
“Oh, sorry dear. How’d that happen?”  
“I probably just got it at home sometime, I dunno. They just sorta show up,” she shrugged, heaving her head up and stretching her arms out above her head. She could see Hidgens making a face out of the corner of her eye, but she was too scared to check. “I’ll clear out, sorry, just a bit tired.”  
Hidgens nodded. “You don’t have to apologise. I just wanted to check in.”  
She couldn’t make eye contact with him.  
“You are alright, yes?”  
Emma sighed. “Things get a little rough but that’s just life. Works pretty busy.”  
“You work at the new coffee shop yes? Do you like it?”  
She shrugged as she packed her bag. “Pay is pretty shitty but I’m saving up right now to move out so I don’t mind.”  
“Are you looking for a better job or are you happy there? Why do you stay?”  
Emma snickered, “uh, some things are worth it I guess. There’s this regular who’s been coming in since every day who started working.” She cut herself off.  
“Aw, I’m happy,” Hidgens smiled, he reached out to help her with her books but Emma flinched away, her parents paranoid words eating at her thoughts. She could already see herself ruining yet another friendship.  
“I don’t know his name though, so I probably shouldn’t bother,” she stammered to get her words out as she rushed to finish packing up. “Sorry, I uh, I’ve got to go.”  
Hidgens frowned but moved out of her way. “Dear, I’m worried there’s something you aren’t telling me. I’ve been worried about you.”  
Emma frantically shook her head. If she let it slip to her parents that her professor cared she would never hear the end of it.  
“I’m doing fine, just like what I said though it’s a bit rough. It’s uh, my parents,” she started but her body didn’t finish, she crammed her books into her bag and bolted off down the stairs to the exit before she could explain.

———————————————————

Emma let out a frustrated growl as she looked up at the sky. The dark storm clouds above had decided that now of all times was the perfect time to start raining.  
She rung her dad for the third time and only on the last ring did he pick up.  
“Uh, hi dad,” she started, cutting her sentences short knowing she’d be interrupted. “Class is over. Where are you?” She was starting to shiver.  
“Oh, sorry. I’m busy right now. I can’t come for another hour,” he sounded unfazed. “Just wait there for a bit. Go to the library.”  
“Dad, everyone’s gone home. It’s almost midnight classes are over.”  
“Listen. Just wait there, I’ll come get you but I’m busy right now. I’ve got to go.”  
Emma let him hang up first. She stared blankly at her phone and glanced back at campus. There wasn’t anywhere to go.  
She wasn’t going to cry.  
She sat down on the front steps and waited, inhaling and exhaling deeply to watch her breath cloud out in front of her.  
She had no clue how to kill an hour out here in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere. In fact, she was pretty sure she’d freeze to death before the hour was up.  
She could feel her hands forming fists whenever anyone walked nearby. She knew why she was still up but no one else should be, not in the tiny town of Hatchetfield, and especially not in this storm anyways.  
She spent ten minutes watching rain drops, holding imaginary competitions to see who could reach the end of the drain pipe first, she spent five more star gazing through the gaps in the clouds but she was running out of things to do.  
She was about to see how far she could throw rocks when she heard footsteps from behind her.  
She jumped up, her hands too numb to let go of the stone she was holding.  
“Having fun out here?” It was her professor, he had a black umbrella by his side.  
“Oh, sorry, yeah. I’m just waiting for my dad to pick me up.” Her mind instantly jumped three steps ahead. He was going to make fun of her for not driving herself and then she was going to have to explain what happened to her sister and then she would be forcing too much heavy and unwarranted information on him and she would never be able to look him in the eye again.  
“Oh, is he on his way?” Hidgens simply asked. “It’s very cold out here. You’re shivering.” He sat down on the steps besides her.  
“Hah, yeah. Sorry, I was stupid. I didn’t look at the weather today I just sorta got out of bed and rocked up, um. I’m fine though.” She looked down at the ground instead of up at him.  
“No, here you are,” he shrugged his tan coat off and draped it over her back. “Do you want me to wait with you while your father comes? You shouldn’t be out alone so late. Not in this storm.”  
Emma couldn’t talk, her heart had just began to beat at an impossibly inhuman pace. She swaddled his jacket around her, wondering what was going on.  
“It’s okay, I can handle it. You shouldn’t have to stick around, my dad won’t be here for a while,” she tried to explain. “Are you cold? Do you want this back?”  
“You need it more than me, dear.” He sat with her for a moment. “You ran off on me today there, dear,” he tried to laugh.  
“Sorry, I don’t know what happened. I was just having a moment this morning.” She rubbed her arms anxiously. “I just didn’t want to take up your time.”  
“I didn’t have anywhere to be, I never really do,” he laughed. 

Where do you live?”  
“Not far from here, my dad’s just busy right now and my mum is probably asleep,” she shrugged. “It’s nothing.”  
“I can give you a ride home if you’re okay with that,” he offered.  
Emma shook her head frantically. “No! I don’t want you bother you, Professor. I’ll be fine to get home on my own.”  
He gestured for her to follow. “It’s not a bother, my dear. What’s your address?”  
She was in disbelief as she gave it to him.  
He nodded, “oh! I know the place.” He opened up his umbrella and invited her underneath.  
Now she was asking way too much. She could already tell she wasn’t going to sleep tonight - she would be recounting tonight over and over in her head, pulling it apart and reconstructing it, but she knew she was going to feel guilty no matter what she did.  
He opened up his passenger door for her before his own, making sure she wasn’t getting caught in the rain.  
“Are your parents busy tonight?” He asked as he put the key into the ignition.  
Emma shrugged. “Yeah probably. I shouldn’t have to have my parents drive me everywhere, it’s a bit of a waste of their time. I don’t really drive myself,” she admitted.  
“Why not?” He asked. “Do you know how?”  
“I do, I know, yeah,” she nodded, her throat turning dry as she planned out her words. “It’s dumb but I’m really scared of driving. I try not to if I can avoid it. I really used to like it when I was younger, I’d play my own music and get out of the house. But then I moved to Guatemala and it was mostly just hiking and walking and stuff for like, ten years.”  
“That’s a very pretty place, I suppose your Spanish must be pretty good. All travelled out?”  
“No, I wanted to stay there actually,” she gave a short pause as the car roared to life, trying to tell just how bad things would be if she explained why. “I didn’t want to come back to Hatchetfield but uh, my sister...” Emma’s throat closed up at the thought and she coughed to clear it. “Oh my god! Sorry!” She pinched the bridge of her nose to stop herself crying. “Uh!”  
Hidgens hadn’t even pulled out of the carpark yet but he stopped the car and leant across the console. “Are you alright, Emma?”  
“Sorry, it’s dumb, I didn’t mean to cry. I was just thinking about her, my sister passed away earlier this year and uh, it was a car crash, that’s where I was going with it- I don’t drive because I just freak out.” She bit down on the insides of her cheeks, clenching her hands into fists and holding her breath. There was no way she was going to cry in front of him.  
“Oh, I didn’t know, I’m sorry dear. That’s awful.”  
“Hey, don’t apologise,” Emma managed to say, but her voice came out quivering. “You didn’t crash into her car.”  
He gave her hand a quick squeeze before starting up the car again. “Big day for you my dear, come on. Let’s get you home.”  
And Emma couldn’t hold it in anymore, she burst into tears at that word, ‘home.’ She didn’t want to go there anymore.  
The surge of feeling was too strong for her to even worry about hiding her tears anymore.  
It was too strong and lashed at her mind and at her chest, begging to be let out and once she started crying she couldn’t stop. Her body curled up, her knees rising to her chin and her head tucking down into her chest.  
She clenched the rock she was still holding tighter and tighter until it hurt to hold on and she kept it like that.  
She did not want to go back to that house. She wasn’t safe there. She wasn’t happy there. Her mind raced just as fast as her heart, searching through her options. She wanted anywhere but that house. She didn’t want to spend another moment in that empty, cold house. Not without Jane there, the only person who could make living in that house tolerable.  
She was out of breath and her muscles were so tense they were starting to hurt.  
A deep blue filled her up inside. A sadness too intense to describe, something she had bottled up for forever.  
The tears just didn’t seem to come to an end.  
“Darling,” Hidgens cautiously grabbed onto Emma’s hand, prying the rock free. “Can you breathe? Just let it all out.”  
She let the deep blue feeling drain from her body and fill up with static instead.  
When the tears stopped and she could finally untense her bones she lay back in defeat, her eyes heavier than before.  
“I’m sorry,” she murmured, mustering up the energy to give a proper apology before she got in trouble. “Sorry for crying in your car and making you drop me off. I can just walk home.”  
“Don’t be ridiculous. You don’t have to apologise for crying. You don’t seem very happy my dear. What’s wrong at home?”  
Emma shook her head and pressed her palms into her eyes to dry them. “Sorry, it’s nothing,” but her breath caught in her throat again. “Ooh,” she moaned. “Oh god how am I gonna do this,” she yanked her hair out of its bun so it would curtain her face. She no longer had the energy to hide it from her professor. “I don’t want to go back home, Professor. I’ll just wait at school for a little bit longer until my dad comes. Really. I’m in no rush to get back there, I don’t mind waiting out there.”  
“Well Emma,” he laughed incredulously. “If you don’t want to go home I won’t take you there. You should have just said so.”  
“Well I don’t have anywhere else to go,” she sniffled, trying to regain her composure.  
“Oh dear, we can think of something.”  
“Fuck, ugh, I am wasting way too much of your time, Professor. I can just sort this out on my own, you don’t have to fix this.” “But I don’t mind helping,” he patted her shoulder. “Do you have any other family or friends you could stay with?”  
Emma laughed at her own misfortune. “Nope. Just me and my asshole dad and my depressed mother. I’m not into friends and that shit, I dunno. I’m pretty alone I guess,” she forced her palms further into her eyes to stop herself crying again.  
“Oh I know that feeling, dear. How about we go back to my house and get you something to eat and drink and we’ll think about it? Okay? How does that sound?”  
Emma nodded, more comfortable removing her hands from her eyes, certain she had cried herself out. “Yeah, that sounds great.”  
———————————————————


	5. Final warning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma’s father gives her one last warning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to preface this by saying I have no clue what sort of words Americans are using & the following dialogue sounds very australian  
Do they even call it CPS in America if not that’s gonna ruin the realism lmao

The first thing she noticed about his house was the size - it was massive. There was room to run, room to hide, room to do just about anything.   
She almost felt vulnerable, flicking glances over her shoulder to check behind her at every sound.   
“Don’t look so frightened, dear. I promise you’re safe here.”   
“Am I gonna wake up anyone?” She whispered.   
“Oh there’s no one else here but us two.” He cleared his throat, “and Alexa!”   
“Alexa?” Emma asked, but her question was answered as she heard the familiar ding of the machine.  
“Turn on the lights,” he spoke clearly. The room was much bigger under the light. “No, you don’t have much family left at my age.”  
He pulled out a chair at the kitchen table. “Would you like some toast?”  
“Oh, I don’t want to be a bother, sorry.”   
Hidgens pulled a loaf of bread from the bread box, slotting a few pieces into the toaster. “I’m making some for myself anyways, it’s not a problem. What have you eaten today anyways?”  
“Uh, breakfast and an apple before class.”   
Hidgens pointed at the clock on the kitchen wall. “Well that was yesterday. It’s midnight, a new day now.”   
“It’s not a new day until you fall asleep,” Emma quipped back.   
Hidgens was humming to himself as he moved about the kitchen, pouring Emma a glass of water and plating up the toast.   
His house was warm, it smelt vaguely of cinnamon or some sort of baked good. Although it was definitely something artificial like a candle or incense, there didn’t seem to be much cooking going on at all.   
“So,” he put her glass and plate down in front of her and pulled his chair out to sit across from her. “What’s wrong my dear? Please excuse my prying, but what’s wrong at home?”   
“I miss my sister,” she mumbled, having forgotten briefly why he had brought her. “So do mum and dad.”   
“I know, it’s hard to lose someone. Do you talk with your parents much about your feelings?”   
She shook her head. “They really don’t care about how I’m going through all this, it’s all about them and it’s all about how great Jane was and how I’m not ever going to be that good.” She rolled her eyes and eased forward in her chair to rest her head on the table. “Fuck them.”  
Hidgens snorted. “Alright dear. Well do you have any aunts or uncles? Other siblings maybe?”   
She shook her head. “I don’t have anyone, that’s the thing.” She didn’t want to call Zoey or Nora, that was a level of defeat she wasn’t sinking to. “I can always go home, it’s not that big of a deal, I think I was just tired and I got a little shocked.”   
Hidgens frowned, placing one hand protectively over hers. “You shouldn’t cry when you think of going home dear. That isn’t supposed to happen. Please, eat up.”   
Emma took a hesitant bite of her toast but could feel her energy returning once she had finished. “It’s nearly 3am, I’ve probably taken up too much of your time.”   
Then Emma felt her phone ring in her pocket. She felt sick, her skin turned cold and she felt nauseous. “Aw fuck,” she breathed, her eyes wide.   
Hidgens could see the fear in her eyes. “Let me speak to them.”   
Emma shook her head frantically. “No, I’ll handle it, I just-“ she held her phone to her ear. “Hello?”  
“Where are you?” Her dad spoke so loudly that she had to pull the phone back from her ear.   
“Uh, dad, I’m just walking home it’s-“ she stood up from the chair and paced to the other side of the room so Hidgens couldn’t hear her. “It’s 3am, you told me you were coming in an hour but that was ages ago, it’s storming outside I had to start walking.”   
“So I drove out here for nothing? Where are you?”  
Emma’s legs were growing weak. “What did you want me to do?” She tried to argue. “I’m sorry but I couldn’t just sit there, it’s so cold outside, it’s raining, I wasn’t gonna wait there for two hours while you sober up! Jesus Christ dad! Did you forget about me or something?”   
The crackle of silence on the other end of the phone was more terrifying than anything he could’ve followed up with but Hidgens plucked the phone from her hand.   
“Hello, is this Mr. Perkins?”   
Emma shouldn’t have yelled, there was no way her parents were going to be okay with that. Her heart was crashing against her rib cage, a cold sweat had broken out over her skin and she was far too shocked at her actions to focus on anything Hidgens was saying.   
She paced in a wide and fast, uneven circle, pulling at her hair and grinding her teeth. There was no way she could go home now, that was crossing a line and she was going to get in trouble.   
“What are you gonna do? Call CPS? She’s fucking 30, and she’s my fucking kid you can’t just pick her up off the street like that!” Her dad’s voice rang clear from the phone, he was furious.  
Hidgens still spoke calmly but his eye was twitching. “I believe it’s my responsibility as a professor to make sure my students are safe and I wasn’t comfortable leaving her out there in the storm and sir with all due respect as her father you shouldn’t be forgetting her out in the middle of the night.” He was speaking quietly so Emma couldn’t hear but everything else was too quiet.   
“She’s 30, she doesn’t need a babysitter. She should just get back to driving, I don’t have the time to drive her everywhere!”   
There was more arguing, by now Emma had found her way over to the couch, curling herself up and covering her ears so she didn’t have to listen.   
She couldn’t let Hidgens get in trouble for this because her dad was right, she should get over her stupid fear of driving and just get her own life.   
Hidgens was halfway through a sentence when she grabbed her phone back, shouting into it before she could hear what her dad was saying. “I’m sorry dad! I’m on my way home right now, I’ll take care of everything, just go home and I’ll see you soon!” She hung up and shoved her phone back into her pocket. “Thank you so much professor, I’m so sorry, I’ve got to go.” She didn’t stick around to argue over it. The more time she wasted the bigger trouble she was going to get into, she didn’t have the luxury of thinking time.   
It was still raining outside but she made it no further than the gate before Hidgens caught her.   
“Emma!” He called out over the rain. He sounded scolding and it made her flinch. “Are you leaving?”   
“Uh, yeah, sorry. I’ve got to, my dad’s gonna be pissed.”   
Hidgens tried to guide her back to shelter but she stood rooted to the ground. “In the most polite way Emma, I want to say that you don’t have to put up with that shit.”   
Emma blinked, wiping the rain from from her eyes - or maybe tears, her mind was too high strung to differentiate them.   
“If you don’t want to go home you can stay here,” he told her, trying to lock eyes with her but she kept looking down at her feet. “Emma, do you understand? You can stay here if you aren’t safe at home.” He has his hands on her shoulders.   
Emma just felt guilty now. “No, Professor. It’s okay. I’ll be alright, I can walk home.”  
“Don’t be silly,” he placed a hand lightly on her back. “At least let me drive you home.“  
The sound of the storm dulled inside the car, Hidgens turned the heating up before anything else. “You’re shivering.”   
Emma nodded stiffly, “it’s really fucking cold huh?” She laughed. “Ah shit,” she laid back, clutching her hands over her stomach.   
“Do you really want me to take you home?” He asked again. “You don’t look comfortable with that.”   
“I’ll only get in more trouble if I try any of that shit. My dad’s probably throwing a rampage already, jesus, I’d better just get home. I am literally so sorry for causing you all this trouble today.”   
Hidgens sighed as he started up the car and Emma quietened, he was probably disappointed.   
“I’m really sorry,” she tried again.   
“No dear, don’t apologise. I’m worried about you. Are you sure you’ll be safe?” He asked as he pulled out of the garage.   
Emma nodded, but she wasn’t sure. 

————————————————— 

Hidgens had promised he’d wait outside for ten minutes just incase something went wrong. He gave her his phone number and urged her to call if she felt unsafe, it was too much help for Emma to accept. She had already kept him up too late anyways.   
She waited outside for twenty minutes just to be safe, she didn’t want her father getting anywhere near Hidgens.   
As she snuck in through the front door her whole body felt distant with dread. Her limbs filled up with static and she felt like she was going to vomit.   
This house was so foreign, so cold compared to Hidgens’. It was completely dark except for the dull blue light of the television in the living room.   
When her father saw her, for the first time in her life she was genuinely afraid of being beat.   
“Nice of you to finally show up.” He was seething, his whole face red and sweaty with anger and his hair astray. He stomped down the hall towards her, his footsteps so heavy they shook the floor.   
She backed up but he had her cornered. He grabbed her collar and pulled her back down towards the living room, his screams bathed in the smell of alcohol.   
“Where were you!? It’s 4 in the bloody morning!”  
“I told you!” She tried to reason.   
He let go of her collar, pushing her down onto the couch. She managed to scan the room briefly before her father moved again, it was swarmed with green glass bottles. She was too scared to try anything else while he was in his drunken stupor.  
“I’ve been up all night because you can’t just drive? Do you know how stupid that is!?”  
Emma shied back, her father crossing too far into her personal space to be comfortable. “I’m-“  
“It’s a stupid fear! Whether you’re driving or someone else is driving you can still crash and die! You can be walking down the fucking street and still get hit by a car! If you’re that god damn scared of them then just don’t leave your room!” He shouted.   
Emma nodded her head up and down, mumbling her agreement, anything to get him to back off.   
“Fuck Emma,” he slammed the beer bottle in his hand down on the coffee table and backed off. “I’ve had just about enough of dealing with your shit.”   
“Sorry,” Emma repeated. She balled up her hands, pressing her nails into her palms. A burning pain in her stomach was starting to creep throughout the rest of her body. “I’m sorry, I’m working on it.” She tried to elaborate but only a shocked sob escaped her mouth.   
It only aggravated her father more. “Don’t be so pathetic! I can still drive, your mother can still drive why can’t you!? You’ve had your time to grieve, get over it!”  
Emma managed to scoff through the tears starting to drip down her cheeks. “Hey, at least I’m trying to cope with them, at least I’m not fucking,” she gestured to the beer bottles scattered around the room. “Doing this shit!”   
Her father was so different now - he was never the ‘number one dad’ type but he wasn’t this awful. She watched him swing his arms around and puff out his chest, his movements nearly comically angry.   
“You are not allowed to talk to me that way! Didn’t you learn your lesson?!”   
“Can you just give me some respect for one second!? Can you just love me like you loved Jane!? What is with that!?”   
Her dad snarled, picking back up his green bottle and finishing it off.   
“We’re looking out for you,” he growled, his voice lowered again but his breaths short and his body shaky like he had just pulled away from a fight. “We don’t want you hanging around an old man you don’t know.”   
“He cares for me more than you do, dad,” she snapped. “He’s just my teacher, stop trying to make it something it’s not.”   
“Emma. We’re being generous enough, we’re letting you stay with us without paying rent, we’re cooking meals for you, we’re protecting you. You’re the one who needs to start respecting us.”  
Emma felt her head splitting, there was no way to win with this man, so she nodded. “Sorry dad, I will.”   
“Good. This is your final warning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can u tell it’s all abt the cinematic parallels between her dad & Hidgens


	6. It’s not safe here anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma breaks her final warning and pays the consequence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Paul bc I miss him :(((

“Staying up late, huh?” Emma teased as she poured her regular his black coffee.   
“Ahah, this is embarrassing,” the man was surprisingly flustered. “I don’t usually see you on the night shift. Usually it’s uh,” he gestured vaguely to the back room. “Your other coworker.”   
“Who, the hot one?” Emma placed his cup down on the counter, propping up her chin on her fist and smirking up at him.   
“No! No, no that’s not it, well, it’s uh, I meant, well I didn’t mean, I’m not saying she isn’t ‘hot,’ well, pretty, she’s a pretty lady but that wasn’t where I was going,” a bright blush spread across his cheeks and his hands quivered too much for him to pick up his coffee.  
“Then where were you going?”   
“I was just going to say the co worker with the long hair,” he corrected himself. “So do you uh, work the closing shift now?”   
Emma shrugged. “Not regularly, my coworkers still in the back. I’ve just started picking up extra shifts just for something to do though. Do you usually show up at night?”   
He shook his head, his fingers wrapping around his coffee and his thumbs fiddling with the lid. “No, just got some work to do tonight.”   
“Oh! Have fun with that,” she snorted.   
“Thanks, I’ll try,” he grinned.   
“I suppose you’ll be back in the morning?” She asked.   
He nodded, “I’ve got a coffee problem, huh? Beanies coffee is just,” he paused and took a sip.   
Emma watched him with a relaxed smile, there was something just so fucking stupid and equally endearing about the way he behaved, like a kid on the playground trying to act cool in front of a girl. Emma knew for a fact that coffee was so bitter it was practically undrinkable, and yet there he was, sipping away like it was the best thing in the world.   
“It’s really good,” he finished off his sentence.  
She shot him a thumbs up.   
“I guess I better get going, you look like you’re closing up.”   
“Oh,” Emma laughed, looking at the clock. “We closed five minutes ago. I let you in because you’re lucky,” she winked.   
“Yeah, oh, lucky me right?” He laughed, feeding back some sort of jumbled, incoherent repetition of what she had just said. “Thanks, have a nice evening.”   
“You too.” He was two seconds out the door when it opened again.   
“So,” Hidgens was grinning slyly as he walked in. “That’s the man you were talking about? Lovely suit.”   
Emma blushed, chuckling and dipping her head to cover her smile. “Funny looking guy right? His clothes are too big on him.”   
Hidgens scowled jokingly. “You aren’t going out with him anytime soon if you talk about him like that!”   
Emma sneered. “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him! Anyways, what brings you here at closing time?”   
“I was going to be up tonight, figured I may as well give your coffee a try.”   
“Save yourself the money, our coffee is shit,” she assured him. “I’ll buy you something from Starbucks if you want. My treat.”   
“It can’t be that bad,” Hidgens raised an eyebrow.   
“You’d be surprised.” Her phone buzzed in her pocket. She checked the time to make sure she was off the clock before getting out her phone. “Ah, my dad’s here to pick me up. I’ve got to close up shop.” She wiped her hands down on her apron. “I can make you some tea though, much better than most of the shit we’ve got here.”   
“Well that’s lovely Emma, thank you dear!” Emma stopped him from pulling out his wallet.  
“It’s on the house, Professor. Thank you for helping me out last night.”   
“I didn’t get a message so I’m assuming it all went well?” He sounded hopeful and yet doubt lingered at the end of his words when he saw the way Emma’s expression changed.   
“Here’s your tea, I’ve just got to go say bye to Zoey.” She ducked out into the back room to find her manager.   
“All closed?” Zoey didn’t look up from her phone, curling a lock of hair around her finger.  
“Yeah, are you staying here?”   
“I’ve just got a little bit of work to do. You want to pick up another shift tomorrow?”   
“Yeah, please.”   
“Well I’ll text you,” She looked up from her phone and her eyebrows raised in surprise. “Wow! Is it hot out there or something? You’re sweating like mad.”   
Emma flushed, slightly embarrassed. She wiped down the sweat on her palms on her apron again. “Yep. I’ve got to go, my dad is out the front.”   
“Oh the tall guy with the turtleneck?” Zoey asked.   
Before Emma could answer, the bell above the door rang.   
Zoey stood up cautiously, they both exchanged looks. No one should be coming in after the shop closed.   
“I’ll handle it, stay back here.” Emma knew exactly who it was. Now she noticed just how much she was sweating, and had to start wiping down her palms yet again.   
She shut herself up before she could speak, the tension in the room was palpable.   
Her dad was staring Hidgens down, they had never met but he knew who he was and Emma knew she was in trouble.  
There were no words spoken between the two men.   
“You’re late, Emma,” her dad let out a deep growl.   
“Sorry I was-“   
“Just whipping up one last drink?” He gestured in Hidgens’ direction. “Apron. Off.” He clicked his fingers at her like she was some sort of dog.   
“I’ve just got to-“   
“No. Apron off. Car now.”   
Emma was more afraid of her father’s silence than the yelling.   
She stalled, hesitating to take off the apron and fiddling with the knot.   
“Sorry dad,” she sighed as she hung up her apron. She gave a brief, defeated wave goodbye to Hidgens as her dad ushered her out the door like a child being escorted to a detention.   
Even in the car her father had nothing to say, her skin prickled as the tension built.   
She rocked back and forth slightly, bouncing her foot on the floor.   
“You’re driving too fast,” Emma pointed out in a timid whisper.   
Her father didn’t respond but slammed his foot down on the pedal.  
Emma let out a shocked yelp, “dad!?”   
“Shut up for a second,” his voice came out raspy and dry. His breath stunk like beer.   
“Hey, are you drunk!?” Emma clung on tighter to the seat.   
“I said shut up,” he repeated, leaning in closer and squinting to focus on the road.   
“Wait, stop driving! Stop-“ she pressed back further into her seat, one foot up on the dashboard to hold her steady. Her stomach flipped over, she grew sick.   
“Can you pull over!?”   
“Shut it! I’m driving!”   
Her throat closed up, she couldn’t breath, she couldn’t even talk. No noise came out, trapping her panic inside her chest until she felt it would burst.   
He sped up again, veering to overtake a car ahead of him.   
Emma dug her nails into the chair, trying to wrestle her seatbelt off.   
“Sit still! Don’t distract me!” He took one hand off the steering wheel to whack Emma’s hand away from her seatbelt.   
He turned the corner a second too late, the back wheel riding up on the curb. Emma was tossed to the side, hitting her head on the car door.   
“Stop crying! I’m nearly home!”   
He parked haphazardly in the drive way, the front of the car parked on the lawn.   
Emma fought the passenger door open, her neck and limbs tangled up in the seatbelt she had been trying to escape from.   
“Get out,” her dad stormed around the car and yanked the seatbelt off her. “Get inside, right now!”   
Her body wasn’t responding, she lay shaking on the ground, unable to get her breath back. Her cheeks covered in a slimy mix of feverish sweat and tears.   
“Get up! You can’t lie out here crying like a fucking baby, the neighbours’ll see, you’re embarrassing me.” He grabbed her by the front of her shirt, hauling her onto her shaky feet and pulling her inside. “Did you not hear what I told you? That was your last warning Emma and you were still hanging around that man?” He slammed the door shut and pushed her to the floor.   
“Jane was never this much trouble! Why can’t you just be like her!?”   
“Because I’m not her, dad!” Emma used the wall to help her stand, not wanting to stay vulnerable and exposed to attacks. “I know I’m a fuck up! I know I’m not the good sister, but can’t you just love me? Or at least treat me as my own person!?”   
Her dad let out a rough breath, staring daggers at her. “Just get to your room.” He pointed down the hallway.  
“Dad,” Emma tried, feeling her own voice start to shake but she took a cautious step closer. “Jane’s dead.”   
“Shut up!” He brought the back of his palm down across her cheek, knocking Emma aside.   
She stumbled to regain her footing and froze, clamping one hand across her cheek in surprise. She tried to look him in the eye but he hung his head, shaking it.   
“Can’t you be like your sister? Do you always have to cause trouble? I asked you not to be around that man.”   
“Dad...”   
“I don’t want my daughter sucking up for extra credit. You know, college is different from being a kid, the teachers are different.”   
“What are you trying to say!” She yelled, her words coming out so fast they were barely coherent. Her dad would pick up sort of hesitance. “What are you saying about him dad!”   
“You know what I’m saying!” He grimaced, his head shooting back up. He grabbed the front of her collar, pulling her in close until she could feel his breath on her forehead. He pushed her chin up with his thumb. “I don’t want to hear that my daughters been sleeping around with her professor.”   
Emma thrust her fists into her dad’s chest, ripping herself free from his grip. “Fuck off dad! Why would you say that!? Jesus fucking christ I make one friend and you go straight there of course! Because you don’t believe I could do good in class or have someone want to be around me without some sort of background work!”   
“Don’t touch me, brat!” He grabbed her wrist. “That’s a fair assumption, going to his house at one in the morning! People don’t do that, it’s not normal!”   
Emma pulled at his grip, “well maybe it was to get out of this hell hole!”   
“Well you’re welcome to leave! Ungrateful, you can’t talk to me like that after all I’ve done for you!”   
“What’ve you done for me! Ever!?”   
And then he hit her again. It was a single slap but the sound brought silence to the house. She dropped to the ground more from shock than pain.   
“I’ll go,” she breathed.   
Her father watched her rise with an eagle glare. It was getting too dangerous to live here. “Get to your room. I don’t want to hear another noise from you.”   
Emma limped back to her room, closing the door as quietly as possible. She sunk into bed, pulling the covers up over her head and exhaling loudly.   
She didn’t know what else she could do.


	7. I need help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hidgens just wants Emma to ask for help

Hidgens called Emma to his office after the lecture. She hadn’t been paying attention at all and spent most of the lesson with her head in her hands, trying not to fall asleep.   
From the way she shuffled into his office, he knew she thought she was in trouble already. She took a seat, her shoulders falling in defeat and her hair falling around her eyes.   
“Did you not sleep well? You were late today.”   
“I walked,” Emma yawned. “I don’t wanna drive anymore.”   
“Um,” he didn’t know where to start. “Was everything okay yesterday?”   
Emma nodded, silent.   
“What happened when your father picked you up?”  
She shrugged, unwilling to speak.   
“Were you safe? You know you can message me if you don’t feel safe.”  
Another guilty nod, she blinked sleepily, starting to fiddle with the hair covering her face.   
“And now, Emma dear, I’m probably not the person who should be asking or dealing with this, I’m not a professional, but um, your parents, do they?”   
Emma’s eyes rolled up to look at him for the first time today as if he had finally captured her attention. Up until now she had been drowsy and sullen but now she was on guard.  
“Are your parents hurting you, Emma dear?” He reached cautiously across the table for her hands but she held them close to her stomach. “What’s wrong?”   
Emma was silent. There was something haunting about her today, it was like looking at a tormented spirit, she wasn’t quite alive and there were awful dark circles under her eyes, only emphasised by her pale complexion. “Can we not talk about my parents?” She whispered.   
“Why are you whispering?”   
She checked over her shoulder and leant in close so he could hear. “I’m not supposed to talk.”  
“Who said you couldn’t? You can talk Emma.”   
She shook her head and bit back a sob. “I’m not supposed to talk. He’ll find out.”   
“Your father?”   
Emma grimaced. “I said can we please stop talking about him?”   
Hidgens leant back, surprised by the burning anger in her expression.   
“You know you can ask for help if you need it.”   
“I don’t need your help! Did you call me here just to talk about my dad? Because, because if so then I don’t really want to talk to you today.”   
“No! No, it’s okay, we can talk about something different!” He had no clue what had caused the drastic change in her personality, but the moment the questions were driven away from her parents she slipped back into her half-conscious state.   
“Uh, how are you finding biology? Is it interesting enough for you? Are you keeping up alright?”   
“You can just tell me I’m a dumbass,” she snorted wryly.   
“Well why would I say that?”   
“You can just say it,” she repeated. “That I’m failing, because I’m an idiot.”   
“You aren’t failing Emma dear, even if you were I wouldn’t say it like that.”   
She rolled her eyes. “If I’m not failing then why am I here, Professor?”   
He held a hand to his forehead, frustrated. “I don’t like the tone you’re taking with me, dear.”   
“Can you just not call me that? Can you just use my name?” She tugged at the hair around her eyes, bothered.   
“Sorry, well you’re doing just fine in class Emma.”  
“Perfect.” She stood up, tossing her head from side to side to get the hair out of her face before looking back down at her seat to gather her bag.   
Hidgens held back an audible gasp, his hand slapping over his mouth to keep himself silent. “Is that a black eye?”   
“I said I don’t want to talk about it!” She swung her bag onto her back and stormed out of his office. 

———————————————————

There were four chairs at the dinner table, one for Emma, one for her mother and one for her father, and one for Jane.   
The fourth chair sat there without a purpose anymore.   
Although at dinner that night the chair had been moved. Now it sat between Emma and her parents, but she had not been the one to move it.   
“How about you sit on that side of the table tonight, darling?” Her mother asked in as polite a voice as she could muster up.   
“I do not want to sit next to you,” her father snarled, his reasons much more open.   
Offended for a moment, Emma refused to sit down. “Well I don’t want you eating the dinner I made,” she shot back.   
“Emma don’t do this,” her mother tried to reason. “You two need to stop fighting.”   
“Easier said that done, she won’t listen to reason,” her dad pointed at her.   
“Can you act like an adult?” Emma held out her arms, incredulous.   
Her mother beckoned her to her new seat. “Just sit down and eat. No one saw your eye today did they?”   
“Nope.” Lying came easy when it was for self-preservation.   
“You should put some ice on it,” her mother suggested. “To make the bruising go down.”   
“I’m not holding an ice pack to my eye for an hour,” she started eating faster.   
“Listen to your mother.” Her dad pushed out his chair and stomped to the fridge, searching around for an ice pack.   
It’ll go down in its own time. If anyone asks I’ll just tell them I banged into a pole or something. Not that anyone talks to me anyways,” she spat. Things were already awful, it couldn’t be the worst time to bring up the fact her parents had a knack for ruining her friendships.   
“Emma,” her mother warned, quickly shutting her up.   
She felt her dad’s firm hand on the back of her neck and before she could react her face began to burn.   
She only managed to choke out a confused squeak as her father clamped an ice pack to her eye.   
“Cut it out! It’s cold!” She tried to pry his hands off but they were too strong.   
“The swelling has to go down!” Her father reminded her.   
“Oh dear,” her mother tried to reason with her father. “You’re doing it again, just let go of her.”   
Her dad held on for a moment longer before releasing her. “Keep it there,” he dropped the ice pack into her lap.   
“Goodnight,” Emma stood up from the table, holding the ice pack lightly to her eye.   
“Did I say you could leave?” Her dad questioned.   
“Why would I have to ask!?”   
“We are not done eating dinner, sit down and finish. Jesus, we don’t want people thinking we’re starving you. Look how thin you’re getting.”   
“Dad, I’m 30. No one thinks I still live with my parents. The blame isn’t going to you if I miss one meal.”   
He clicked his fingers and pointed to her seat.   
“I’m not some pet, dad.” She picked up her plate and took it with her to her room. She didn’t want to be around them but she wasn’t risking breaking her fathers rules again.   
She left her plate on her bedside table and tucked herself into bed where she felt she was spending a lot more time in lately.   
She had left her phone on the table, not able to look at it after leaving Hidgens’ office but took it into her hands, pressing the home button with a sigh.  
Of course there were about a dozen messages, she used to long for that sort of connection with someone but now she just wanted to be alone. 

‘I’m fine, Professor. Sorry for yelling, I shouldn’t have. See you in class tomorrow.’ 

She punched in the letters, her fingers moving fast to get it over with. She tossed her phone under her pillow before she could see his reply.   
But he did not text back, he rang.   
Emma hadn’t considered that possibility, her heart was caught in her throat and her hands reached for her phone without her brain’s permission. She held her phone to her ear but couldn’t utter a word. 

“Emma? Emma are you there?”   
She nodded, but of course he couldn’t see her.   
“Emma, I hate to invade your privacy by calling you like this but I’m worried for you.”   
She wrapped her blanket tighter around her shoulders, her jaw dropping ever so slightly. She held the phone tighter.   
“But I am your professor, I have a right to worry about you and I don’t think you’re safe with your family, they don’t treat you well and I’m not letting you stay in a home you aren’t happy with, and well, good god forbid you aren’t being hurt. Are you there Emma? I just want to make sure you’re alright.”   
Emma let out a single whimper.   
“Oh! Emma dear, thank god you’re there. Did you hear me? Are you alright?” He sounded desperate, broken and worried. He shouldn’t have to worry about her, she was the one causing trouble for her parents. Everything would be better if it wasn’t for her. She was a spanner in the works of the whole operation, she was the reason her dad drank and her mother cried and she deserved what she got and she- she paused.   
“Emma, I know you’re in a difficult situation right now. But you don’t deserve this.”   
Emma swallowed the bile in her throat and exhaled a shaky breath, clearing her throat to talk. “Hidgens I...”   
There was complete silence on the other end, waiting to know she was okay.   
“Hidgens, I think I need help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oop this fic got darker than I thought it would but I am having a fun time and I hope you guys are too lmk what you think 💕


	8. You are so brave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hidgens is going to get Emma out of that house

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My week has been incredibly hectic so sorry for the short chapter!! Things should clear up in a little bit I hope 💕

The next time he saw Emma it wasn’t what he had expected. He thought she would turn up to campus like usual and they could work out things from there, but she didn’t show up. He could barely teach he was that worried, however as he returned to his office he heard a shy knock on the door.   
“Come in?” He called, standing up to open the door.  
Emma looked like she wanted to throw herself into his arms the moment he opened the door but behind her stood her father, his hand attached to the collar of her shirt.   
“Mr. Perkins, I’m assuming?” His face hardened. “What can I do for you this afternoon?”   
“My daughter has something to say to you.” He gave her a small shove, cueing her to start talking.   
The girl’s face was red with humiliation and tears stained her cheeks. She looked like she hadn’t slept all night and yet she managed a wide her sheepish smile. “Sorry for wasting your time, Professor.”   
He looked at her and then up at her father before raising one eyebrow.   
“I shouldn’t have been bothering you so much these past few weeks, I’ve taken up too much of your time.”   
He didn’t listen to her continue the apology, he was more disgusted in the way her dad was puppeting her around, shoving her in the back to shut her up or prompt her to continue, tugging on her collar to have her change topics or elaborate. It was horrifying how trained she was to the whole situation. This wasn’t just a dysfunctional family, it was practically a hostage situation.   
“Sorry for making you worry, I didn’t have a black eye, it was just some makeup. That’s why it’s gone now,” she gestured to her eye with her whole hand, almost like she was covering it up again. “And sorry for asking for help, nothing was wrong, I just wanted the attention,” she continued.   
“Mr. Perkins,” he turned to her father instead. “I know we aren’t on the most stable terms but if you are going to barge into my office I would appreciate it if you didn’t manhandle my student like that.”   
“No it’s fine, Hidgens,” Emma promised before her father even had to signal it. “He’s my dad, he can do that.”   
“Listen, I know you’re in charge at home but this is my office right now and I’d like you to let go of her before we continue.”   
Emma bit her lip, her all-too-happy fake smile fading. Neither of them had expected resistance.   
Her father let go of her collar, his hands finding their way to her shoulders instead.   
“Thank you, I’ll take your apology into mind Emma and come up with the proper consequences, Mr. Perkins if I could speak to Emma alone for a moment?”   
“No, if we’re done here I’m taking my daughter home.”   
Hidgens shook his head. “She has class work to catch up on, I’m going to run over the work with her. I have to speak to her before she leaves, okay?”   
“I know what you two are like, the second I leave her alone with you she’ll-“ he stopped himself.   
“She’ll what? Sir, are you aware I can call campus security and have you removed?”   
“Come on Emma, we’re leaving.” He wrapped his fingers around her forearm, trying to drag her along with him out the door but she resisted.  
She yanked her arm back, leaving a strangled red line on her skin. “Dad I’ve got to stay!” She tried to explain, stumbling back into Hidgens’ office.   
He glared at her, his fists shaking like he was about to hit her. “If you try anything clever,” he whispered.   
Emma nodded frantically. “I won’t, I won’t, it’s just about class.”   
“Five minutes. I don’t wanna wait. I’ll be in the car.” He clicked her fingers at her, something he didn’t understand but Emma sure seemed to.   
He slammed the door and his footsteps could be heard all the way down the hall. Emma did not speak or even move until the sound was gone.   
When everything appeared safe she threw herself into his arms, she was shaking violently and trying to catch her breath.   
“Emma are you alright?” He asked, trying to pry her off him to get a look at her face.   
“I don’t have much time uh, I’m in trouble.”  
“I noticed, dear.”   
“I’m sorry, that was all really embarrassing, they made me do it, they don’t want me to cause trouble for you.”   
“You aren’t causing trouble. Emma dear, can I have a look at your face please?”   
Emma looked up at him, her eyes were big with hope.   
“What happens when you go home, Emma?” He managed to pry her off his chest and hold her hands instead.   
“Everything’s alright,” she wiped her teary eyes and nodded. “It’s just a bit rough. We argue a lot. My parents aren’t very happy with me right now because I’m being a bit of a little bitch,” she chuckled coldly. “It’s hard on them, they lost a daughter and then I showed up like this sort of half-assed replacement. I’m just making it hard on them.”   
“Well you lost a sister aren’t you struggling too?”  
Emma tried to tuck herself back into Hidgens’ chest but he brought her under his arm instead, they didn’t have much time to talk.   
“They’re mad at me,” she sighed. “I’m being a shitty kid, I’ve got to get driving again, I’ve got to move out.”   
“I can help you, kid. You did the right thing to ask for help. I’m so proud of you.”  
She was smiling wide, a smile that said she had finally made it to safety, that things would be better now and he wanted it to stay that way.  
But as much as he wanted nothing more than to help her, he knew he still had to send her back home with her father for one more night.   
“Now, my dear, we’re going to fix this okay? I promise. But we can’t do it right now, you’ll be in trouble if you don’t get back to the car.”  
“Really?” Emma eyed the door anxiously as if she was expecting him to burst through and collect her again.  
“I want you to go home tonight and do anything you can to stay out of his way. You stay in your room and you call me once you’re home okay? In the morning I’ll pick you up, don’t go with your father. Okay dear?”  
Emma nodded but couldn’t make eye contact. “Okay,” She gulped. “But tomorrow I’ll be fine right?”  
“You’ll be more than fine. Only one more night in that house, I promise you. You’re so brave, my dear Emma.”


	9. I’ll take you home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma has some doubts

Emma sat on the floor by her beside table, she kept snacks in the bottom draw, only small things: chocolate bars, biscuits, left over pastries from work. Food she could actually eat. She had started the draw about a week ago to get around the fact her parents never seemed to leave the house anymore, leaving her with nothing to eat.   
Tonight her dinner was going to consist of a chocolate bar and three biscuits and the three sips of water left in her drink bottle.   
If things went wrong, it was a pretty mediocre last meal on death row.   
She sat with her legs crossed and her phone on her lap, balancing on her knee with Hidgens on speaker.   
“And you’re still safe?” He asked.   
“Mhm. You know, my dad is made all the time but he only really hit me twice.”   
“Well I’ll remind you that he shouldn’t have hit you at all.”   
“Mmm,” Emma nodded. “You got me there.”   
“You know how you’re supposed to be treat though, right?”  
“I have a vague sense of the word, yes, it’s not too inhumane over here,” Emma quietened as she heard footsteps. “Oh, uh, hold on.” She listened for a moment until they stopped. “So um, what’s the plan tomorrow?”   
“Tell your parents you’ll walk, I’ll pick you up. Let them know you’re walking to work and that you’ll be home late, and you’ll walk to school again the next morning. That should get them off the trail long enough for us to work something out for you, alright? I’ll take care of driving you, and I’ll set up a guest room here with me. Does that sound alright to you?”   
“Sounds great!” She beamed. “I’m gonna pack a bag.”  
“Don’t bring too much, you don’t want your father finding out.”   
“You say that as if I wear any more than like, the same four shirts,” she joked.   
“You sound excited,” he commented, but he sounded just as happy.   
“I am!” She threw herself down on her bed, dangling her feet off the edge. “I’m getting out of this shithole,” she eyed her room, wondering if there would be anything she would miss. “What if they come to school and find me?”   
“Don’t worry about that dear, I’ll take care of everything.”   
“Am I taking up too much time? We’ve been on call for an hour.”   
“You aren’t taking up any of my time dear, I’m in the lab so I’m enjoying the distraction anyways,” he sounded focused.   
“The lab on campus?”   
“No, my lab.”   
“Wow! Your house must be huge!” Emma gasped, shutting herself up at the sound of her father crossing the lounge room.   
“Is everything alright? You keep pausing.”   
Emma bit her lip, holding her breath. “Yeah,” she stared at the back of her door, her finger hovering over the ‘hang up’ button just in case her father walked in. “I’m just worried my dad’ll come in,” she admitted. “Uh, uh hold on. He’s coming. I’m gonna hang up.”   
“No, no, just hide your phone. If I hear any danger I’ll come, okay?” Emma had no time to respond, chucking her phone under the blankets as her dad entered her room.  
“You’re being loud, who are you talking to?”  
Emma let a slight confidence start to build inside her, at least he wasn’t yelling yet. He didn’t seem drunk either.  
“Myself,” she answered.   
“Are you cooking dinner tonight?” His eyes trailed down to the biscuits in her hand. “You’re gonna fill up, no dinner for you then I guess. But we’re waiting out here.” He crossed through the doorway into her room, sitting down next to her.   
Emma sat up, her hands crossing protectively over her stomach.  
“Listen,” he started. “I know I haven’t been fair on you recently.”   
Emma raised one eyebrow, staring at her dad with bared teeth almost to ask him not to start. She felt cheated, having him apologise the day before she planned to move out.   
“What do you mean?” Her voice cracked and she coughed to cover it up.   
“I’ve been rough with you, I’ve been yelling too much,” he rubbed his hand over his eyes to break the solid eye contact she was making. He was dancing inelegantly around the fact he had beat her the other night.  
“More than yelling,” she prompted. “Like that ice pack thing, and how you wouldn’t sit next to me at dinner, and how you picked me up from work drunk and...” she was dancing around it too.   
“I know driving can be scary for you, but your mother and I want to help you, and I know...” he didn’t continue.  
“I’m going to learn how to drive again,” she told him.   
“Yeah?”   
“On my own. You were right dad. I’m 30. In the mean time you don’t have to drive me anymore.”  
He clapped her across the back with a forced yet trying grin. “There we are, good girl.”   
Emma winced as his hand came down on a bruise and chuckled back lightly. She just wanted him to leave, Adrenalin was racing through her body and she didn’t feel safe. She was pissed he was trying to pretend it was all okay. She hated the way he spoke to her like she was a dog, something trainable and controllable.  
“So I don’t gotta drive you anywhere tomorrow?”  
“Nope, I’ll walk!”  
“Good girl, getting out of my hair,” he ran his fingers awkwardly through her hair in some odd, unpracticed gesture of comfort.   
Emma flinched, a frown crossing her face.   
“Thanks, I won’t bother you anymore. Don’t worry about it.”   
“I’m really sorry about all the yelling, I’ll make an effort, okay?”   
Emma nodded. “Thanks dad.”  
“Good job, sweet heart,” another strange pat on the back. “Now come make dinner. Your mother is waiting.” He stood to leave but Emma grabbed his sleeve.   
“Uh, I can’t make dinner tonight, I’m not feeling well,” she lied.  
“Yeah, you don’t look too good. I’ll sort it out,” he seemed disappointed but knew he couldn’t complain.   
Emma grimaced when he closed the door, curling up on herself for a moment to deal with the overwhelming wave of confusing emotion that washed over her.   
Her hand searched absently for her phone, murmuring and holding it back to her ear. “Did you hear that?”   
“Emma, don’t listen to him.”   
“Ugh, I don’t feel good about this Hidgens,” she ran her nails across her stomach. “What if he means it? I mean, I don’t wanna stay here but what if he’ll be sad or angry with me when I leave? And my mum will be so sad and what if dad hurts her?”   
“Emma, dear, can I-?”   
“Hidgens, what if he was being sorry and now I’m just gonna go vanish on him? That’s just gonna make him more mad, like he made the effort, shouldn’t I?”   
“Emma if you feel like you had to move out don’t make excuses. An apology doesn’t mean anything. Don’t panic.”   
“But it’s the first time he’s apologised to me. I mean it was half assed and ugh, maybe he doesn’t even care but what if?” She wrung her blanket between her hands.   
“No ‘what ifs’ dear. I don’t want you to believe a man who hurt you. He’ll get drunk again tonight and he’ll yell again and you’ll want out. Don’t give him that sympathy. He doesn’t deserve it.”  
Emma grumbled, throwing the sheets up over her head to hide under the covers.   
“I want tomorrow to come, Hidgens. I just want it all to be over with.”   
“It will, just be patient. I’ll take you home tomorrow dear.”


	10. It’s my fault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma thinks everything is moving too fast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another bit of a slow one but that’s bc it’s a build up to next chapters drama,,, it’s tea time

“Coast’s clear,” Zoey threw a lazy glance around the empty cafe. “Why’re you hiding from your dad?”   
“Doesn’t matter,” Emma shook her head.   
“Well no one showed up looking for you if that’s any comfort.”   
Emma bit her lip, nodding casually as if she didn’t care. She finished wiping down the machines and hung up her apron, watching the road outside and half expecting her dad to pull up instead of Hidgens.   
“Your ride’s here I think,” Zoey squinted through the glass. “Did your dad get a new car? He picked you up in that one yesterday too.”   
Emma shook her head. “Nope, just got a new dad,” she played it off like she was joking but it probably wasn’t far from the truth.   
Zoey snorted, slipping her phone into her apron. “You wanna pick up a shift tomorrow afternoon?”  
Emma shook her head and she raced to the door, a slight bounce in her step. “Nope, I might be off the extra shifts for a while.”   
“Well shit, that’s gonna upset Nora.” Zoey wasn’t expecting that. “I’ll find someone to pick it up. Let me know if you change your mind. See you Wednesday.”   
Emma waved goodbye and hopped outside to Hidgens’ car.   
She liked his car better, maybe it was because he drove slower and kept his eyes on the road and most of all wasn’t piss drunk when he drove.   
“Good day at work?” He asked, making sure she put on her seatbelt before he started driving.   
“I’ve been super paranoid my dad’s gonna find out what we’ve done,” Emma answered honestly, picking at her fingernails. “I mean, it’s already been two days. He should notice I’m missing soon.”   
“You don’t have to worry about that, dear. I don’t want you to worry anymore.”   
Hidgens didn’t live very far from Beanies and it was a nice drive once she wasn’t ramped up with stress for once.  
“It’s huge in here!” Emma spun in a circle, her hands outstretched just to prove her point. This was her third time in his house now and it still blew her away.   
“Yes, big house, it gets quite lonely sometimes,” he chuckled. “Alexa, close the gates and turn in the kitchen lights.”  
“Alexa, put on the radio!” Emma chimed in, she didn’t want to listen to the radio but she had never had much technology in her life, so it was always pretty thrilling.  
“Come with me to the lab, Emma dear.”   
She trotted after him, looking up at the man who had rescued her with such admiration.   
“Can you step on that weight in the corner there?” He gestured to the corner of the room briefly, turning his attention to some papers he had scattered on the table.   
“What for?” Emma gingerly placed one foot down on the scales.   
“Well,” he started out, taking in a deep breath and clearing his throat. “You should’ve expected as much to have a Biology professor worried about your health, I’m going to run a few quick physicals to make sure you’re in good shape, is that alright?”   
Emma nodded, more surprised than anything.   
“When I was on my own in Guatemala I never went to the doctors, you know? I’d get sick and just go ‘oh shit, hope that goes away.’ So this is a bit new.”   
“I don’t suppose you’ve been for any check ups since you got back?” He read the scale and jotted it down before measuring her for her height. “In the nicest way possible dear, your BMI is awful. Have you been eating properly?”   
“I’ve been working on it,” Emma laughed bashfully. “It’s hard when...you know,” she didn’t finish her train of thought.   
“I know, you’ll eat better now that you’re here. I’ll make sure of it. I’m going to touch your face, are you alright with it?”   
Emma leaned into his touch, it was more certain than her father’s had been, it was reassuring and welcoming and let her know she was safe now.   
He held his hand to her forehead to check her temperature before checking the tissue under her eyelid again.   
She let out a small hiss of pain, flinching back. “That’s my black eye,” she told him and he quickly backed off.   
“You’re still sick,” he noted with some tone of disapproval in his voice.  
“Sorry,” Emma frowned, dipping her head down.   
“Not your fault dear, nothing you can control. We’ll fix you right up.” He returned to his papers to scribble down some more notes. He patted the bench, inviting her to take a seat.   
“I’ll make something nice for you for dinner, would you like that?”  
“You don’t have to! I can make something for you, I still have your favourite recipes! You’ve already done a lot for me,” she offered as she leant up to the bench. “What’re these?” She put a finger on the papers.   
“Oh, I figured we may as well change your emergency contact, we don’t want you getting back in contact with your father for now, do we?” He straightened up the papers on the table and tucked them under his arm. “Upstairs?”  
Emma let out an unsure laugh. “You’re pretty serious about this.”   
“I’m keeping you away from that man.”   
Emma nodded, falling silent as she followed him back up stairs. Her skin was tingling, all her anxieties were surfacing again. She had never had anyone care for her this much, not even her mother.   
It made her face feel hot and her stomach churn, she didn’t have a way to pay him back and surely he wasn’t doing this for free. Her teachers never cared about her even when she was trying to the best of her ability she was just never quite enough. She didn’t know what made Hidgens want to look after her so badly.   
The guilt weighed heavily on her shoulders and she clutched a hand to her chest as it started to hurt.   
“Are you alright?” He asked, glancing over his shoulder.   
“Alexa, turn off the radio,” Emma looked away.   
“You never look well, it worries me.”   
Part of Emma wanted to pretend she had never met him and return home to her father.   
Being scared wasn’t like feeling guilty. Now she felt she was in the wrong, it was like being in his presence alone was some sort of favour that couldn’t be repaid. She hovered to the side, too anxious to burden him with her presence.   
“How about you go get changed and I’ll start preparing dinner?”   
Emma nodded obediently, crossing as silently as she could up the stairs to the room he had prepared for her the day prior.   
She sat down on the bed, noticing the sheets had been made since she had last slept.   
That was the straw on the camels back, he really had done too much. She slid off the bed, not considering herself worth that much effort. Still, the tears didn’t come. She stared at the floor until she was burning holes in them, her brain working at finding a way to fix this problem, it was worse, twice as big as her original issue.   
Living with her father seemed like such a trivial thing to be so mad about all of a sudden. She wanted her father to tell her she wasn’t as good as Jane and hit her and yell and scream and drink, it was easier to cope with than having Hidgens being so kind and she couldn’t explain why.   
It was human to want to be liked, to be cared for, but she wasn’t allowing it. That meant there was something wrong with her.   
“Huh,” Emma sighed involuntarily. The words came out easier than tears, and so for a moment she sat there and sighed and winced and groaned until the heavy pain inside her seemed willing to subside.   
“Oh...” things were supposed to be easier now, but it only seemed to get worse.   
She balled up her fist to punch herself in the leg, she hoped it would bruise.   
She didn’t understand why it couldn’t just get better for her, it made no sense. She had left her father and her miserable home for someone who truly cared for her health and safety, it shouldn’t have made her feel bad but it did.  
She punched herself in the leg again.   
The turmoil inside her head was worse than any sort of damage she could do.   
“Fuck, Emma!” She cursed to herself. “You’re thirty, and all you do is talk to yourself and cry.” She rolled her eyes and dropped her head onto her knees. She would work this out on her own, just like she always had. Surely soon enough her parents would notice she was missing, she would play the role of the martyr and sacrifice herself back into their hands, thanking Hidgens for all he had done before never speaking to him again. Then she would fly back to Guatemala and wipe all traces of herself from Hatchetfield.   
That seemed a little extravagant though, maybe she should just see a counsellor.   
Only stupid ideas came out of her head after all.   
“Emma, dinner time!” Hidgens called out.  
She didn’t listen, blocking her ears. Of course he made her dinner too, all on purpose, to make sure she couldn’t do it to thank him. She stood up, looking at herself in the mirror and putting on a high, thin, mocking voice. “It’s all your fault, dumbass!” She spat, pointing accusingly at her reflection.   
There was a knock on her door. “Emma, are you alright?”   
The guilt forcibly pushed her anger out of her body to make room for itself. He had cooked the whole meal and she hadn’t even kept him company while he did it. Only a strangled whimper made her way up her throat.   
“Dear?”   
Emma opened up the door, she didn’t want to cause him any more trouble by making him wait.   
She couldn’t look him in the eyes, another heavy sigh escaped her and her shoulders fell until she was slumping.   
“Oh dear,” he put his arms around her shoulders, his thumb rubbing the back of her neck.  
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled into his chest. “It’s all my fault.”   
“Oh no dear, no no. Don’t say that. You know it isn’t. There’s absolutely nothing to apologise for. Although I might be a little sad if I have to eat dinner on my own,” he tried to joke to lift her spirits.  
“I feel really bad that you made dinner for me.”   
“Well we all have to eat, Emma. Won’t you join me?”  
Emma nodded, apologising again.   
“Let’s eat first and then we’ll see how you’re feeling. Sound good?” He lead her back towards the kitchen. “In a few days time, everything’s going to be better. I promise.”


	11. I’ll be better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hidgens will do better for Emma

Hidgens drove Emma to school that day so when she didn’t show up to class he knew something was wrong. He expected an ‘I’m just late’ text or some sort of memo but nothing came.  
He was too distracted to teach and dismissed the class twenty minutes early to his students delight.  
He text her first, then he rang, then he rang again. He probably would’ve kept at it too if it weren’t for one of his students approaching him in the hallway.  
“Professor?” He tapped him on the shoulder as to not interrupt his useless phone call. “The nurse said there’s someone in her office from class.”  
“Oh! Emma?” He tucked his phone back into his coat pocket, hopeful.  
The student shrugged. “Just one of the girls,” he jerked his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the nurse’s office. “You’re her professor so the nurse says you might be able to help.”  
“Did she ask for me?”  
“I dunno,” he shrugged again, raising one eyebrow at his eagerness. “I think they tried to ring her parents but they aren’t getting an answer.”  
“Thank you!” Hidgens gave him a pat on the back and hurried off to the nurse’s office. The last thing he wanted was for her parents to get involved.  
“Ah! Professor, you’re here. Miss Perkins is in your Biology class and-“  
“I know Emma, where is she? Is she okay?”  
“She just has a bit of a fever. We’ve been trying to call her emergency contact but we aren’t getting an answer.”  
Hidgens waved his hands, “no, don’t call them. Her parents won’t pick up.”  
“Well she’s a bit delirious , she isn’t making much sense in there. We can’t get through to her, it’s a pretty serious fever so we can’t just let her go home on her own.” She tilted her head in the direction of the beds in the back of the office where he could hear a gentle sobbing. “We were wondering if you knew anyone who she’S friends with in class who might be able to give her a hand?”  
“Oh, me! I can get her back home. We’re family friends.”  
“Perfect! Do you know why her parents aren’t picking up then?”  
Hidgens wanted to go off on a rant about how useless they both seemed to be, about how they were probably looking at the number and purposely not picking up because they couldn’t care, because they were assholes, because they wanted nothing to do with Emma anymore. He just wanted to make it clear that under no circumstances her parents should be called. “I don’t know,” he simply answered in the end. “But I think you should change her emergency contact to my number.”  
“We can’t do that without her or her guardian’s permission, sorry Professor.”  
“Can you at least let me see her?”  
The nurse nodded and lead him through to the sick bay.  
She was curled up tightly under the blankets, her face wet with tears and sweat. She had her phone clutched tightly in her hands and her eyes were wrenched shut.  
“Emma, dear?” He knelt down besides the bed and placed one hand lightly on her arm, her skin was burning hot. “You’re sick. All that stress has gotten to you huh?”  
Emma chattered something, holding her phone tighter. “He isn’t answering,” she told him.  
“That’s okay, I’m going to take you home, alright?”  
Emma shook her head and the movement sent a spasm through her body. “To my house?”  
“No sweetheart, back with me, remember?”  
“Oh yeah,” she cracked open her eyes to look at him and he wiped away her tears with his thumb. “Hidgens, I don’t feel good.”  
“I can tell. You lie down and I’ll get this all sorted out, okay?”  
After a little argument with the nurse that yes, he was in fact her guardian and emergency contact for the time being, he managed to get her home. But once she was standing she wouldn’t sit back down as much as he pleaded with her.  
He just wanted her to lie down and sleep it off but she was fixated on pacing around the living room on her shaky legs, trying to find the front door. He had to walk behind her to catch her every time she tripped.  
Her knees were getting bruised and her steps were growing fewer and fewer.  
She couldn’t muster the energy to grasp onto the doorknob and shook it until she ran out of breath.  
“I think you should sit down dear,” he had to haul her back to her feet for the fourth time, and it wasn’t easy on his back.  
“But I’ve got to get home,” she tried to tell him again. She never changed her answer.  
“I’ve got to.”  
“This is home right now, Emma.”  
“But the nurse called my dad and he’ll be looking for me now! I’ve got to get home.”  
“Do you want me to call your father?” He asked, taking a hesitant step away from her and towards her phone on the couch. Her fever must be playing with her head. “Home is here right now, you’ve been here for a week, remember?”  
“A whole week!” Emma tugged at her hair.  
“Aren’t you happier here?” His hands hovered around her shoulders as her balance swayed, trying to stop her falling.  
“It’s been a whole week! A whole week!” She widened her stance to steady herself and glared at Hidgens. “It’s been a week and I’m still here!”  
“I thought that’s what you wanted!”  
She was speaking in shallow breaths and her eyes couldn’t focus on him anymore. She was grasping her stomach like she had been shot.  
He watched, pained as her posture started to collapse, shrinking down and looking iller.  
Emma’s back hunched and she choked back her tears. “Why hasn’t dad noticed I’m gone?” He could see the moment she broke, she collapsed again but he didn’t think it was the fever. “Not even mum?”  
Hidgens sat down besides her crying, feeble shape and pulled her up onto his knees in a hug. “My dear, I’m so sorry.”  
“They’ll notice soon, they’ll know I’m not home. We haven’t spoken in a week! I’m sure they’ll notice soon!”  
She tucked her head under his chin, leaving a wet spot on his turtleneck. Her skin was still hot, burning almost.  
“Dear, you’re with me now, isn’t that alright? You’re safe here, you’re safe. Don’t think about them, they were bad for you. Do you know?”  
Emma gave a small nod and wrapped her arms around his back, still shaking.  
“I didn’t think they’d forget about me.”  
“They haven’t forgotten you dear, I’m sure.” He rocked her gently back and forth until she was breathing better.  
“Hidgens?” Emma breathed.  
“Sorry, I’m just so sorry.” The second he opened his mouth he began to cry too. He only wanted her to be happy but she just couldn’t see life the way he saw it for her. She deserved happiness and she had given herself to him with complete trust that he could make it better and he couldn’t. He hated her father more than anything on this planet for doing what he had done to her, for scaring her to the point of sickness, for making her feel she wasn’t worth happiness or safety or care because she was. He had no clue what sort of parent it took to not notice your daughter had been missing for almost a week. He had promised so much to her and he couldn’t come through on it.  
“Dad...” she mumbled again, but her tone had changed. She wasn’t talking about her father, she was talking to him.  
“My dearest, my dearest Emma. You’re sick, once you’re all better then we can-“ he sniffled. He didn’t know what they could do once she got better. “But let’s just get you to bed okay?”  
He only stopped crying as he settled her down in her bed, her hands still reached out to his, holding onto his thumb like a child asking for their parent’s comfort.  
“I’ll do better for you, I’ll be a better parent, a better father.” He checked her temperature again. “I’m going to get you some medicine. You call if you need anything dear.” He wiped his eyes and cleared his throat, giving her a pat on the shoulder before returning to the living room to catch his breath and recompose himself.  
He sat down on the couch, taking her phone that she had been holding so tightly into his hands.  
And that was when it buzzed, he just about jumped to his feet and was surprised that he managed to hold onto it instead of dropping it. 

‘School called, sorry busy, said u got picked up who by??? Where r u?’ 

Hidgens took in a deep breath, this was where the trouble begun.


	12. An official request

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hidgens makes an official request

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so anti this chapter but it’s here

“Good morning,” Emma yawned, flopping down on the couch as soon as she hit it.   
“How are you doing?” Hidgens asked, rubbing his eyes. “Any better?”  
Emma shrugged. “How about you? You look like hell. Did you sleep?”   
“I guess I got a bit carried away with my work,” he rubbed his forehead anxiously. “It’s been a very busy week.”   
Emma flinched. “I can give you a hand around the house if you’d like. Please just let me know, I can help. I’m good at cleaning, or I can just take a step back if you need, like I can start cooking my own meals.”   
“No, Emma. Not you. You’re doing just perfectly. How’s your fever?”  
“Don’t worry about it,” Emma tried to comfort him. “I’ll make you breakfast! Have you seen my phone by the way? My brain’s pretty foggy so I don’t have a single clue on what happened to it.”   
“No, not at all,” Hidgens shifted in his seat uncomfortably. “You must have left it in the sick bay.”   
Emma shook her hands uncomfortably. “Ugh, I hope so. I hate losing my phone. Hey, Hidgens, you aren’t looking very well,” she mentioned again. “Maybe you should get some rest.”   
“Nonsense, there’s still work to do, dear!” He clapped his hands. “Weekends are my favourite, no work for me. I’ve been working on writing a-a-“ he waved his hands in front of his eyes to keep them open. “A musical! Do you like theatre Emma dear?”   
Emma nodded. “I was in a production of Brigadoon in school! Massive theatre kid. And that’s so cool! What’s it about?”   
He clutched his forehead like it was hurting. “Ah, sorry. You’ll have to give me a moment.” He yawned and rubbed his eyes vigorously for a lengthy moment of time.   
“Hidgens, I’ll make you some breakfast. Sit still. I’ll look after you okay?”   
“No, no dear that’s my job. I’m looking after you. You sit down you might still have a fever.” He shifted drowsily and for the first time he gave no warning when he moved to touch her face and check her eyes. He pulled too hard at the skin and Emma had to flinch back.  
“You’re still sick, you go up to your bed and I’ll go to my study and get a little bit of scripting done. I’ll check on you in a bit I just have some work to do.”  
Emma shook her head and frowned. “Please let me help you!” She tried to reason. “Because you look really sick and I’m worried about you. How about we at least eat breakfast together!” She suggested. “Maybe neither of us will cook, we can order something in!” She was hopeful with that suggestion, maybe he would accept. She couldn’t tell if it was the lack of sleep, but he was acting odd.   
“No dear, I just want you to go to your room,” his voice lowered to a shaky murmur.   
“Professor?”   
“Your room, Emma,” he asked more firmly this time. “Please.”   
It sent chills down Emma’s spine. Without another question she hoped up and darted back to her bedroom.   
She closed her door with enough time to feel a small shiver subsiding.   
He had asked politely enough but his tone made her panic.   
She crawled into her bed, tucking herself in and trying to convince herself she was tired. She felt too uncomfortable to leave her room but without her phone, had nothing much else to do but try and sleep.   
A sort of queasiness brewed in her stomach after the morning’s events.   
She didn’t want Hidgens to be mad at her but she was awfully concerned that there might be something wrong.   
She waited until midday, if under any other circumstances she would’ve been bored out of her mind but her worry was like a weight on her skull and she could not take it anymore.   
He had mentioned coming to check on her but he never had.   
Her door let out a stressed creak as she opened it and out of instinct she crouched closer to the floor, listening for footsteps.   
When all was silent she continued on, she had learnt to walk closer to the edges of the staircase, that was it made less sound. She hurried silently into the kitchen, her eyes surveying the room busily as she pushed back that trapped feeling she was getting again.   
She had to remind herself that if she was caught sneaking around she wouldn’t be punished or yelled at, he would probably just ask if she was alright and offer her some lunch.  
“Hidgens?” She called out in a projected whisper, holding a half-crouched, half-standing posture for a moment to listen for footsteps.   
Nothing.  
Anxiety began to eat at her, nipping at the inside of her stomach and making her heart race. It only now occurred to her how scary it was to be alone, separated from her protector, and without her phone she had no way to call for help. The house was so big and unfamiliar and she was small and sick. For a place she had considered a haven it was suddenly becoming very scary.   
“Hidgens?” She tried again, taking a few more cautious steps in the direction of his study. She was more desperate now, she didn’t think he would leave without telling her but it wasn’t as if he was hiding.   
She placed her palm flat on the study door, her heart thumping against her chest.   
The last thing she wanted to do was disappoint him by intruding on his personal space, especially when he was being such a good host. She hated being yelled at, it was scary and made her heart race and her legs shake. She didn’t want to risk that, but she was frightened.   
She just wanted to know where he was, she didn’t want to be apart from him.   
Not to mention how strange he had been acting this morning, not only was she worried for her own safety, but for his.   
She knocked twice against the study door, hoping to hear some sort of reply but she was met with silence.   
“Sorry Hidgens,” she apologised in advance before falling silent as she stepped into the dark room.   
His study was completely dark but she could see his silhouette slumped over at his desk.   
A small blue light cast a gloomy glow across his sleeping face, and she realised he held her phone in his hands.   
It felt like a fist ripping her heart out, the shock was wild. For no reason could she imagine he needed her phone, and for no reason could she imagine why he had to hide it from her.   
She hopped a step forward, leaning over his back and gently sliding her phone from his hands.   
The screen was still lighting up with messages, and she unlocked it to read them.   
As she had suspected, they were from her father. She only had a handful of contacts and none of them had much reason to message her.   
She held back a surprised gasp, there were probably a hundred, maybe even two hundred messages that had been passed back and forth that she had not sent. The conversation had been going all throughout the night but it started with a single message - 

‘School called, sorry busy, said u got picked up who by??? Where r u?’ 

So her dad had finally remembered she existed. It took him long enough.   
Hidgens seemed to be the one who answered. 

‘Safe.’ It simply said. 

‘But where?? I’m coming to pick u up.’ And there was that sickish, green feeling bubbling inside her again. She knew where this was going but didn’t want to see where it ended. 

‘Safe, feeling better. Don’t need to be picked up.’ Hidgens danced perfectly around mentioning who was speaking.   
She scrolled a little faster, watching the time stamps mark later and later into the night. It was twenty more messages before Hidgens revealed himself but not at all the situation. The messages grew more violent from both sides and Emma had to root her feet to the ground to stop herself bolting, or even just pacing anxiously. 

‘Don’t act like this is a hostage situation, the only person upset with this arrangement is you,’ Hidgens had argued. 

‘She’s my daughter, this isn’t some sort of property dispute we’re family. We need her here we already lost one daughter.’

‘We both know you don’t miss her. I’m not letting her go back just so you can gaslight and manipulate her. She’s an adult, she can choose what she wants to do.’ 

More and more messages, she didn’t want to read them. Her father lied too much and Hidgens only reminded her of everything that had gone wrong, she didn’t even notice she had stopped breathing. The time stamps were crawling into the early hours of the morning now, 3am, 4am, time spent wasted over her. 

‘If I ever see you I’ll fucking kill you’ 

‘You’re being unreasonable. You should not have treated Emma the way you treated her. She has a solid case for abuse that she can file if she so wants to, and I’m not afraid to mention it to authority either. I suggest you leave her alone.’ 

Emma’s free hand moved up to pull at her hair, her breathing was heavy and laboured and could not keep up with her heart. More messages yet. They never seemed to end. They never grew civil or understanding, her dad never apologised and Hidgens never backed down. He dangled her beatings above her father’s head tauntingly, reminding him he could do nothing to have Emma return to him. 

‘Even if Emma wanted to go back with you, I wouldn’t let her. I speak with complete certainty that it is within my moral code and should be within everyone’s, to not allow an innocent human being to be hurt. She was miserable living with you.’ 

‘So what? She lives with you now? You’re a fucking creep, you can do whatever you want but you’re an old creep who abducted my daughter and now you won’t let her go. I can tell the court anything and they’ll believe her father over you.’   
There was a pause in the timestamps that Emma had been paying such careful attention to. There was a ten minute gap between her father’s message and Hidgens’, and his next message was dizzyingly long. 

‘Mr. Perkins, if you haven’t noticed I want to draw your attention to the fact that I am willing to lose sleep over Emma’s safety. I haven’t slept a minute tonight and now the sun is rising, I’d argue with you for as many nights as I have to if it meant Emma’s safety and I’m not sure you’re willing to say the same. If this needs to be taken to officials or court I am entirely willing to follow through. I have watched Emma’s mental and physical health improve not only noticeably but significantly with such joy whereas you have made it clear you have no time for your daughter, she has been with me for over a week and you haven’t even noticed, even after taking her away you continue to hurt her and I am taking it upon myself to make sure she recovers. She is a brilliant student and an efficient worker and has an outstandingly resilient and positive personality that I am so glad you did not manage to ruin.   
I am making an official request that you relinquish your role in her life as her father as it seems I am much more prepared to fill that role. I do not want you to contact Emma again unless you can finally apologise like an adult. If you have any real concerns, find comfort in the fact that she is safe, healthy and happy with me. Do not contact either of us again.   
Goodnight Mr. Perkins.’ 

Emma felt faint, even after this there were about fifty more messages from her father, hurling all sorts of abuse and threats at the poor Professor and still no apology. They were still coming through now, her father’s anger not dulling for even a moment.   
Man, when Hidgens told her not to take shit from anyone he clearly took his own advice. Maybe she should listen. She clutched the phone in her hands and marched out of the study, her eyes adjusted to the light and she could feel the tears rolling down her cheeks.   
Her finger hovered hesitantly over the call button and she held it to her ear.   
Her father answered after the first ring.   
“Do you think this is a game? I’ll fucking kill you, you bastard. Where do you live? Where the fuck do you live? Give me back my daughter!” His words all crashed together and she could barely piece them apart, she couldn’t believe the man that had raised her could ever attack someone this brutally. She knew first hand that he got angry, but these were the drunken, crazed ramblings of a man with an intent to kill and it petrified her.   
“Dad?” She breathed.  
“Emma!? Where are you!? Come home right now!”   
“Dad, listen to me,” she cleared her throat and blinked her eyes to clear away the tears. She waited for absolute silence before she spoke. “You heard the professor. I stand by everything he said. You’re a cruel, uncaring man and I don’t want to go back with you. Don’t contact me ever again, fuck you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In other news !! Who’s seeing Black Friday!


	13. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the messages

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mega short one bc I’m a busy bitch this week I’ll try and make some better stuff tomorrow 💕

When Hidgens found Emma, she was sitting on the lab floor with her back pressed up against the wall and her head in her hands. She wasn’t quite crying but she was rubbing her forehead frantically with her fingertips and grumbling unintelligently to herself and had curled into herself like she was hiding from something.  
“Dear?” He called to her quietly as he walked down the steps into the lab.   
“Hi Hidgens,” she rubbed her eyes with the heel of her palm and lifted her neck to look at him. She fixed her collar in an attempt to recompose herself.   
“What’re you doing in the lab?” He asked, placing his hand on her head and wiping her hair from her eyes with his thumb.   
“Chilling,” Emma shrugged, throwing out a default answer.   
“You sure like to sit on the floor a lot, huh?” He tried to joke to break the silence.  
“Well all the scary people are really tall, have you noticed that? Oh, except you of course.”  
“And what about that young man from the coffee shop?” He reminded her. “He’s pretty tall.”  
“Oh, he’s not scary. You’re right. I think really I’m just talking about my dad. Makes the floor really safe when they’re up there and you’re down here you know?” Emma’s eyes gazed off in a hundred mile stare as if she were finally evaluating this coping mechanism.   
Hidgens nodded but he didn’t quite understand.   
“I’m okay I’m just...” she sniffled. “I finally did it, I told dad to fuck off but I didn’t know he could be that angry.” She drew circles on the back of her hand with her forefinger and sighed heavily. “My phone,” she started, producing it from her pocket and showing it to him.   
“I’m sorry I took it from you dear I-“ he shook his head and ruffled his hair. He didn’t really have an excuse. “You were so sick when he sent that first message and I just wanted to take care of it for you, you’re stressed enough as it is. That man is bad for your health.”   
Emma nodded, her hands brushing through her hair like she was about to pull at it but she refrained. “I know. I feel good telling him what I think of him but I’m really scared he’s gonna come find us now,” she laughed at herself, her voice still rough from fever and sobs.   
“Did you read everything?” He asked more hesitantly.   
She nodded and shrugged. “I skimmed, that was a lot of talking, I got the important parts. My dad’s really scary, I’m sorry he said all that gross shit to you.” Her hand hovered around her forehead and her cheeks, her fingers constantly finding something to pick at or hair to pull on, anything to obscure her eyes.  
“And did you see...?” He couldn’t even say it himself. He had been so proud and certain of his request at the time but he never thought about letting Emma see it.   
Emma nodded up and down, letting a noise out of her throat to hold the floor and make sure he didn’t speak over the top of her.   
“About um, telling my dad to piss off? Uh,” she chuckled and it came out odd and rushed. “Uh, uh I mean I never really expected that-!”  
“I know!” Hidgens interrupted. “Was it too forward? Was that too much Emma? Because I was only just-“  
“Yeah! No, no it wasn’t too much it um,” neither of them could get much more than a sentence in, both jumping to explain themselves before the other could judge.   
“It made me really happy Hidgens,” Emma finally got to admit. “I think if I tried to answer that message I’d ruin it. I’d get myself caught. I think he’d take me back there and like,” she made a rapid, messy hand gesture. “Really beat the shit out of me. He was pissed. Before we left I was so scared he’d find out about it but...” Her face twisted with anger and disgust as she spoke. “He never found out, he never cared. I thought maybe he would make an effort after what he said but you’re right, it didn’t change him.”   
Hidgens held a hand to his mouth. “Emma I’d never let him hurt you. I’m so thankful you accepted my help, not everyone is willing to move out and move in with their Professor,” he chuckled awkwardly. “Well, that doesn’t really happen much does it? But all that matters now is that we’re both safe and your father has no clue where we are.”   
Emma riddled with the collar of her shirt to occupy her fingers. She let out a quiet hum as she tried to formulate her sentence. “You’re a better dad than my father ever was. What you said made me really happy.”   
Hidgens turned his head to wipe away the happy tears in his eyes. He had planned on deleting the conversation after everything was cleared up but clearly her father wasn’t going down easily.  
“All that shit you said about me, like, that I’m a good student and that you’re proud of me. It’s all I ever wanted my dad to tell me but I never got it, it felt so nice to have someone finally say that about me.” Emma rolled her palms across her eyes again, a weak smile showing itself onto her face. “When you spent half your life travelling alone you don’t get people telling you you’re a good person, you don’t get people helping you out when you’re down. It’s pretty lonely.” She stretched out her legs, starting to uncurl herself and open up. “When I came back here and I had to pick everything up and get a job and go to school it was way too much for my head. I was in a really bad headspace but like, I still have trouble asking for help.”   
“That’s okay, we can work on that together. We’ll get there,” Hidgens held out a hand. “Now, there are no scary, tall people about so how about you stand up? It makes it a lot easier for me to give you a hug.” He summoned his confidence again, quickly fixing his composure with a quick flick of his hair to put it back in place.   
Emma took his hand and hauled herself up, throwing her arms around his back in a big hug.   
He put his arms over her shoulders, holding her close.   
“Thanks, dad.”


	14. Safe with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma can’t sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m notorious for shoving in exam revision and Sweeney Todd references in my cookie cutter chapters lmao

“Aw fuck,” Emma stared blankly off at the clock on the wall.   
It was nearly 3 in the morning, she had to go to bed eventually but she just couldn’t fall asleep.   
She rolled onto her side and shut her eyes tight, trying to balance her breathing. She pulled the blankets up over her head and wrapped herself up in them. She pressed her head into her pillow to allow herself to let out a quick, muffled scream.   
She tossed back over and pressed her palms into her eyes and noticed for the first time how quickly her heart was beating.   
Emma listened closely for any sounds around the house before silently slipping out from under the sheets.   
She had grown good at sneaking about at night, usually to grab the food she missed out on at dinner when she was avoiding her parents. It was almost an art, moving in time with the setting house and walking near the walls to avoid making noise, and at home she knew where all the creaky floorboards were.  
She crept silently downstairs to the kitchen, something so familiar helped her steady her breathing. She shifted her weight from foot to foot to keep her footsteps as quiet as possible.   
In the living room silver beams of moonlight danced lazily across the floorboards, the cold night air was sobering.   
She placed her hands on the windowsill to look out into his front yard. After dinner Hidgens would always ask Alexa to turn on the fences and raise the gates, making an effort to say in front of her so she knew she was safe.   
She sat down on the couch in the moonlight and let the midnight air wash away her stress and exhaustion. Emma hung her head and crossed her legs, she noticed how sore her muscles were from being so tense all the time.   
It was almost impossible to keep her eyes shut though, she continued to check the gates, terrified of what she might see.   
But nothing ever happened. She really was safe.   
“You’re still awake Emma?” The study door open without a sound and Emma whipped around to face the professor.   
“Yeah, what’re you up for?” She asked, flinching at the orangey lights that flooded from the study.   
“Working on my musical, the one I was telling you about dear. Aren’t you tired?”  
“Aren’t you?” She shot back.   
Hidgens shook his head and have a bothered sigh. “No, not really. When you get old Emma you don’t sleep as much at night. You get a lot less REM sleep and just not enough NREM sleep, I sleep much better during the day. You’re young, you still need sleep. You have work in the morning.”   
Emma nodded, rubbing her eyes. “I know. But do you ever get nightmares, Hidgens?”   
His whole body shivered at the word. “Do I ever?” He tried to joke. “Are you having nightmares, Emma?”   
She nodded hesitantly. “I always see my dad in my nightmares, it’s like clockwork. He’s just always there when I close my eyes.” Her eyes widened at the thought. “It’s like I just can’t escape him.”   
Hidgens glanced out the window to confirm the gates were in fact raised. “Sweetheart, this is the safest place on the whole island. I promise you. Nothing will harm you, not while I’m around.”   
He tucked his hands into his pockets, pacing a few steps towards her. “Are you losing sleep over him Emma?”  
“I am,” she breathed. An uncomfortable feeling pricked at the outside of her skin. She blinked to break the firm eye contact Hidgens was making with her but the second she closed her eyes she could see her father’s face, red and furious. Her eyes shot back open with a gasp.   
One of his hands pulled back from his pocket and he beckoned Emma over. “He can’t hurt you. He wouldn’t dare if I’m with you. You’re still recovering and you need your sleep.”   
Emma drowsily moved off the couch, not bothering this time to shift her weight or chose her steps carefully as she waddled into Hidgens’ side.   
“I’ll turn off the lights and you can have a lie down on the couch in here. That way you don’t have to panic, I’ll be right next to you.”   
His office was heated and cosy. There was a keyboard up against the wall and a desk with several stacks of paper.  
“Take a seat, I’ll grab your blanket and pillows, you wait here.” He flicked on the lights in the lounge to head back upstairs.   
Emma ran her fingers over the keys of the keyboard but there were a set of headphones plugged in and she couldn’t hear anything. More interesting was the stacks of papers.   
There were quite a few dedicated to his musical, scripts and sheet music and character profiles, clearly something he had poured a lot of time into.   
She leafed through another pile, astounded at how much effort was going into his musical when she stumbled upon something more interesting, she stumbled back a step with wide eyes.   
Her emergency contact papers, a booklet of legal work and a single sheet titled in bold letters:

‘Island of Hatchetfield Judicial Branch, Petition of Adoption’

Emma was sure she hadn’t read it right but before she could double check Hidgens had returned.   
“Now Emma,” he began after collecting her pillows and blanket. “I love you dearly but those are your tests for next week so no touching.”   
Emma jumped back, her hands held up defensively. “Sorry, I thought it was your musical. I wanted to have a look.”   
Hidgens smiled as he laid down her blanket. “Well I would love to, but you know how it is when you write. You want to tell everyone but that’d just give it away!” He returned to his seat as Emma laid down on her side to watch him work.   
“I have headphones in so hopefully I won’t bother you too much, just let me know. You can stay here for as long as you need, even if you don’t fall asleep.”   
“Thanks Hidgens, I feel much safer,” she smiled, adrenalin finally ebbing away. “Good night dear,” he smiled back. He looked just as comforted as she did.   
She curled up in her blankets and shut her eyes, listening to him hum quietly along to the music he was writing and scratch out notes on paper with a dull pencil tip.   
She felt much safer.   
“Are you still awake dear?” He asked after some time had passed.   
She didn’t answer, some innate childhood response to stay quiet surfacing. The sort of ‘if I fall asleep in a car my parents will carry me to bed,’ sort of response, but she couldn’t fight off a small, innocent grin.   
Hidgens let out a deep sigh, relieved she had supposedly finally been able to get to sleep.   
“Good night dear,” he paused in between sentences to hum another song, much more like a lullaby than before. “You’re safe with me.”


	15. Safe with me

“Aw fuck,” Emma stared blankly off at the clock on the wall.  
It was nearly 3 in the morning, she had to go to bed eventually but she just couldn’t fall asleep.  
She rolled onto her side and shut her eyes tight, trying to balance her breathing. She pulled the blankets up over her head and wrapped herself up in them. She pressed her head into her pillow to allow herself to let out a quick, muffled scream.  
She tossed back over and pressed her palms into her eyes and noticed for the first time how quickly her heart was beating.  
Emma listened closely for any sounds around the house before silently slipping out from under the sheets.  
She had grown good at sneaking about at night, usually to grab the food she missed out on at dinner when she was avoiding her parents. It was almost an art, moving in time with the setting house and walking near the walls to avoid making noise, and at home she knew where all the creaky floorboards were.  
She crept silently downstairs to the kitchen, something so familiar helped her steady her breathing. She shifted her weight from foot to foot to keep her footsteps as quiet as possible.  
In the living room silver beams of moonlight danced lazily across the floorboards, the cold night air was sobering.  
She placed her hands on the windowsill to look out into his front yard. After dinner Hidgens would always ask Alexa to turn on the fences and raise the gates, making an effort to say in front of her so she knew she was safe.  
She sat down on the couch in the moonlight and let the midnight air wash away her stress and exhaustion. Emma hung her head and crossed her legs, she noticed how sore her muscles were from being so tense all the time.  
It was almost impossible to keep her eyes shut though, she continued to check the gates, terrified of what she might see.  
But nothing ever happened. She really was safe.  
“You’re still awake Emma?” The study door open without a sound and Emma whipped around to face the professor.  
“Yeah, what’re you up for?” She asked, flinching at the orangey lights that flooded from the study.  
“Working on my musical, the one I was telling you about dear. Aren’t you tired?”  
“Aren’t you?” She shot back.  
Hidgens shook his head and have a bothered sigh. “No, not really. When you get old Emma you don’t sleep as much at night. You get a lot less REM sleep and just not enough NREM sleep, I sleep much better during the day. You’re young, you still need sleep. You have work in the morning.”  
Emma nodded, rubbing her eyes. “I know. But do you ever get nightmares, Hidgens?”  
His whole body shivered at the word. “Do I ever?” He tried to joke. “Are you having nightmares, Emma?”  
She nodded hesitantly. “I always see my dad in my nightmares, it’s like clockwork. He’s just always there when I close my eyes.” Her eyes widened at the thought. “It’s like I just can’t escape him.”  
Hidgens glanced out the window to confirm the gates were in fact raised. “Sweetheart, this is the safest place on the whole island. I promise you. Nothing will harm you, not while I’m around.”  
He tucked his hands into his pockets, pacing a few steps towards her. “Are you losing sleep over him Emma?”  
“I am,” she breathed. An uncomfortable feeling pricked at the outside of her skin. She blinked to break the firm eye contact Hidgens was making with her but the second she closed her eyes she could see her father’s face, red and furious. Her eyes shot back open with a gasp.  
One of his hands pulled back from his pocket and he beckoned Emma over. “He can’t hurt you. He wouldn’t dare if I’m with you. You’re still recovering and you need your sleep.”  
Emma drowsily moved off the couch, not bothering this time to shift her weight or chose her steps carefully as she waddled into Hidgens’ side.  
“I’ll turn off the lights and you can have a lie down on the couch in here. That way you don’t have to panic, I’ll be right next to you.”  
His office was heated and cosy. There was a keyboard up against the wall and a desk with several stacks of paper.  
“Take a seat, I’ll grab your blanket and pillows, you wait here.” He flicked on the lights in the lounge to head back upstairs.  
Emma ran her fingers over the keys of the keyboard but there were a set of headphones plugged in and she couldn’t hear anything. More interesting was the stacks of papers.  
There were quite a few dedicated to his musical, scripts and sheet music and character profiles, clearly something he had poured a lot of time into.  
She leafed through another pile, astounded at how much effort was going into his musical when she stumbled upon something more interesting, she stumbled back a step with wide eyes.  
Her emergency contact papers, a booklet of legal work and a single sheet titled in bold letters:

‘Island of Hatchetfield Judicial Branch, Petition of Adoption’

Emma was sure she hadn’t read it right but before she could double check Hidgens had returned.  
“Now Emma,” he began after collecting her pillows and blanket. “I love you dearly but those are your tests for next week so no touching.”  
Emma jumped back, her hands held up defensively. “Sorry, I thought it was your musical. I wanted to have a look.”  
Hidgens smiled as he laid down her blanket. “Well I would love to, but you know how it is when you write. You want to tell everyone but that’d just give it away!” He returned to his seat as Emma laid down on her side to watch him work.  
“I have headphones in so hopefully I won’t bother you too much, just let me know. You can stay here for as long as you need, even if you don’t fall asleep.”  
“Thanks Hidgens, I feel much safer,” she smiled, adrenalin finally ebbing away. “Good night dear,” he smiled back. He looked just as comforted as she did.  
She curled up in her blankets and shut her eyes, listening to him hum quietly along to the music he was writing and scratch out notes on paper with a dull pencil tip.  
She felt much safer.  
“Are you still awake dear?” He asked after some time had passed.  
She didn’t answer, some innate childhood response to stay quiet surfacing. The sort of ‘if I fall asleep in a car my parents will carry me to bed,’ sort of response, but she couldn’t fight off a small, innocent grin.  
Hidgens let out a deep sigh, relieved she had supposedly finally been able to get to sleep.  
“Good night dear,” he paused in between sentences to hum another song, much more like a lullaby than before. “You’re safe with me.”


	16. My two rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hidgens shares two important rules

“The next time someone brings a fifty dollar bill to our coffee shop is gonna fucking get it,” Emma rolled her eyes as she counted the money.  
Zoey snorted. “I’m glad you’re in a good enough mood to make fun of customers again, do you mind helping me close up?” She asked, peering through the shut blinds. “Just while we wait for your ride to pick you up.”  
Emma hung up her apron and shook her head. “He’s just a bit caught up with a student right now, he said he’ll be here soon so I can give you a hand until then.”   
Although not surprisingly she ended up doing most of the work while Zoey stayed on watch at the blinds, casting glances back at Emma occasionally. “Hey, so who’s that guy who’s been picking you up recently?”   
“A good friend,” Emma wasn’t going to elaborate much. “Why?”   
“Well your dad drives the silver hutch back car right? The really shitty one?”   
Emma squinted, dropping the rag she was cleaning with. “Yeah, why?”   
“No reason, there’s just been a similar car driving by a lot today. Maybe it isn’t him. I probably forgot what his car looks like anyways. Hey, what’re you doing behind the table?” She parted from the door to march up to the counter and lean over. “Why’ve you been hiding from him?” She stretched one hand over to help her up.   
Emma took Zoey’s hand and slowly peered over the counter. “I’ve moved out, I’m just not talking with my dad right now.” Of course she wasn’t going to tell Zoey how frightened she was that her dad might be hunting her down.   
“Oh, your friend’s here,” Zoey waited by the door. “I’ll walk you to the car, I’m not a fan of that guy driving back and forth past the store.” She held open the door and scanned the road before ushering Emma out to Hidgens’ car.   
“I’m gonna keep an eye out. Maybe you should change your shifts. Drive safely,” Zoey was too distracted to give proper tone or emotion to her words. Her eyes glued to the street. She snapped back in, gave Emma a quick pat on the back and headed back inside once Emma was in the car.   
“Everything alright dear? What did she want?”   
“Uh, nothing,” Emma bit down on her thumb. “What was up at school?”   
“There was a poor young boy, crying over a question he got stuck on. Doesn’t seem like an issue but it’s usually a sign of something bigger. He’s very stressed so I sat with him until he calmed down. I hope he’s alright.”   
Emma stirred anxiously in her seat, biting down on her nail harder. “Yeah? Was he okay?”   
“In the end, but I’m worried he’s being bushed past his limit,” clearly Hidgens was worried. His nails were digging into the steering wheel and he was driving a bit faster than usual.   
Emma noticed all of it.   
“He should be fine,” Hidgens tried to reassure the both of them. “I’ll check in on him tomorrow.”   
Emma frowned. “Do you know his name?”   
“He sits on the other side of the lab to you. Maybe you two should meet.”   
Emma felt an ugly spark of jealousy inside her and had to wonder whether she was the first of many kids Hidgens planned to adopt. It made her want to cry, not out of any real sorrow, but just to see if he hadn’t grown bored of her.   
“Zoey thinks my dad’s been casing the street,” she announced in an attempt to grab his attention.   
“What do you mean?”   
“She reckons she’s seen his car go drive past a few times today.”   
Hidgens checked his rear view mirror and tightened his hands on the steering wheel again. “And she’s sure it’s your father?”   
“Yeah,” she didn’t check the mirrors, but kept her eyes on him for his reaction.   
She had never considered having to share her refuge with anyone, and maybe she was jumping the gun just a little, but Emma couldn’t stand people in her space. She stayed out of social groups for a reason, she preferred to put on a customer service smile and see her coworkers, Hidgens, and no one else.   
She had enough of being pushed down in favour of the ‘better child’ at home, and now she had dug her claws into her share of happiness and safety and she wasn’t letting that go to some kid who cried over a biology question. She wasn’t losing everything over this man, no, not at all. She had it so much worse, he didn’t deserve it like she did.   
She noticed Hidgens looking at her in the mirror and she stopped herself ruminating, noticing how wide with fear her eyes were and how tense she felt.   
“Don’t worry Emma,” Hidgens hushed.   
She flinched at his tone. It was an entirely unique tone she had grown to know with her time with him. It was a ‘you’re in trouble’ or ‘I’m disappointed’ but a much worse, ‘I’m going to have to teach you where you’ve gone wrong’ sort of tone.   
She sunk into her chair and nodded her head, accepting the upcoming lecture.   
“You don’t like people in your personal space do you?” He asked.   
Emma shook her head.   
“You don’t have to worry, I’m not bringing him home. I’ve met his parents, they’re quite lovely. He’s safe at home, he’s just worried about the test coming up.”   
Emma nodded, reverting back to her uncertain silence.   
“Okay?” He asked, a firm voice.   
“Okay,” Emma mumbled pathetically.   
“Dear, let me share this with you. This is very important. Are you listening?”   
Emma checked the rear view mirror to procrastinate. “I am.”   
He divided his attention between the road and her expression, confirming she was paying attention. “You should know better than anyone. When you’re sad no one gives a shit anymore. We just live in that sort of world dear. That’s why people like us have to stick together.”   
She didn’t know what category he had grouped them when he said ‘people like us,’ but she nodded, having no clue where he was going with this or where it had come from. “People like us?”   
“People who are alone, Emma. People who the world tried to move on without but we didn’t let them. We stick together because we need each other. Right?”   
Emma gaped. Of course she needed him, she could barely be separated without panicking. He was her guardian angel and he had saved her life.   
But she didn’t know he needed her.   
“You make me a better person Emma. I’m getting out of a very dark space right now and you’re helping me. It makes me want to wake up in the morning and cook and eat food and stay healthy when I know I’m doing it for you. I know I’m doing a good job when I can see your smile.”  
Emma placed her hand over his that rested on the console of the car, but she was speechless.   
“And that’s why I live by two rules my dearest, and I want you to take this to heart.”   
She squeezed his hand to tell him she was listening rather than speak.   
“One, you don’t take shit from anyone anymore. You look after yourself. And two, you don’t let anyone else give themselves shit either. You stick it out for other people like us. We’re a community and only we know what we’ve gone through. Be someone’s hero. Do you understand dear?”   
“I do,” she finally spoke, feeling part of her mind become less cloudy.   
“And that’s all you have to do to feel good about yourself again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is deadass a fanfiction abt a comedy musical but I feel personally those are two very important rules on the road to recovery and I really encourage everyone to take that to heart, please let me know what you thought of this chapter 💖


	17. The hunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anger makes you do things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If everything goes according to plan there are abt 6 chapters left now !

“What’re you looking at apartments for?” Hidgens glanced over Emma’s shoulder down at her laptop as he moved to get dinner from the oven.  
“I gotta work on getting out of your hair,” Emma answered. “Just getting back onto my feet you know? I can’t live here in the lap of luxury forever. I’m gonna go out walking and have a look tomorrow. I like this one.” She jabbed her finger at the screen.   
“You aren’t a bother to me if that’s what you’re worried about.” He settled down the dish on the cooling rack and added in a more hesitant tone, “dear, have you ever seen a counsellor?”   
“Parents never let me, why? I’m alright, right?” She glanced briefly up from her laptop.   
“You have a Disorganised Attachment problem,” he stated as politely as possible.   
“I have a what now?” She blinked, giving him a puzzled look.   
He let out a concerned noise. “How do I say this nicely? It means your parents didn’t hold you enough as a child dear.” She nodded, “I thought we established that, prof,” she gave him a quick nod and an awkward laugh. “What does that mean though?”  
“It’s just something that tends to give kids a bit of trouble growing up. It’s why you hate making eye contact,” for added emphasis he shut the lid of her laptop.   
She was painfully aware now of how her first instinct was to stare at the ground rather than at the man right in front of her, and forced herself to make eye contact.   
“It makes you disassociate and have difficulty concentrating.”  
Emma snorted. “Don’t call me out like that.”   
“Where I was headed with that is that it stops you asking for help, you can’t wrap your head around the idea that someone might want to help you either.”   
Emma huffed, “Wow, go off then.”   
“With no offence intended dear, I’m just trying to say that I don’t ‘want you out of my hair.’ You’re quite welcome to stay with me as long as you need.”   
Emma slipped off her chair to help Hidgens prepare the dinner table. “Wow, live with a Professor and get diagnosed with something new every day huh?”  
“Speaking of which,” Hidgens started as he put his food on his plate. “Almost time for another physical. You’re looking much healthier.”   
“It’s ‘caus I’ve got to be cool like you,” she shot Hidgens a quick, playful grin. “I’m gonna grow really tall, and I wanna be cool just like you. You know so much shit, and you’re crazy fucking generous.”   
Hidgens smiled and even laughed for a moment but shook his head. “You don’t have to be like me, you’re your own kind of great. You know how I feel about that, you’re smart and resourceful and so brave, dear.”  
She gave a bashful grin and shook her head, chuckling. “Why thank you!”   
He smiled back at her before pointing to her plate. “Eat up,” he reminded her.   
Emma was halfway through a mouthful of food when her phone rang. She swallowed down her food and held up her finger to signal she needed a second. “It’s Zoey, hold up.” She held her phone to her ear, giving a hello that was muffled by the food in her mouth.   
“Em? Emma I need to talk to you for a sec,” she sounded surprisingly bothered and a frightened tone lay under her words.   
“Huh? What’s up? Is everything alright?”   
“Where are you right now?” Zoey snapped, cutting her off to get a faster answer.   
Emma exchanged a glance with Hidgens, who was missing half the conversation but looked just as concerned. “I’m at my place.”  
“Like your house? Or the one you moved out to?”   
“New house, not my dad’s place. Why?”   
Zoey shivered in the other end of the line. “I’ve just closed up now, I should’ve called you earlier. Don’t come into work tomorrow. I’m changing your schedule.”  
“What!? Zoey am I being fired?”   
“No!” Zoey sounded incredulous. “No, listen. You know how I thought I saw your dad’s car going by yesterday?” Zoey uttered something too quick and shaky for Emma to understand through the phone. “He came in today, basically threw the door off it’s hinges. Said he was looking for you and I said you don’t work today, and he was like, shit, he was like ‘yes she does!’ Basically leaning across the counter. Drove half the shop away, someone called police. Fuck, hold on.” Zoey put the phone down on the other end to catch her breath, she was talking at the speed of light.   
Emma used the silence to mumble out a frightened gasp to Hidgens. “My dad,” she told Hidgens but quickly slapped her phone back to her ear as Zoey started talking again.   
“He was pissed but Nora managed to get the idea into his head. He ordered a coffee and left. I overcharged him, took a really long time to make it, spat in it even. I’m pissed and terrified. Emma why was your dad like that?”   
“Because he’s an asshole,” Emma didn’t know what else she could say. “I moved out because he’s just not safe to be around. He’s dangerous.”   
Zoey gulped and shuffled something about on the other end of the line. “I think he’s hunting you down, Em.”


	18. At the beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things take a turn for the worse

“Are you sure you can do this by yourself?” Hidgens asked, leaning over the open car door.   
“Sure!” Emma placed both her hands firmly on the steering wheel. “It was never that hard, I still know what I’m doing.”   
“Maybe we should wait until I have time to come with you, I’m worried dear.”   
“Ahh don’t panic!” She told him confidently. “I’m going to go look at some  
apartments. I’ll only be out twenty minutes.”   
“You should wait for me to get back from campus! What if you panic, dear?”  
“It’s okay, I’m not gonna crash your car.”   
Hidgens shook his head. “I’m not worried about my car, I’m worried about you,” he gestured to her unbuckled seatbelt which she quickly strapped in.   
“I’m not gonna get hurt. I promise.”   
Hidgens winced but took a step back from the car door. “Will you be alright?” He asked.  
Emma nodded. “I’ve got to get back to driving one day or another. Why not today?”   
Hidgens gave a nervous, light smile and a thumbs up. “Alright dear. You can call if you’re in any trouble, but don’t text and drive,” he reminded her.  
“I’ve got it! I passed my drivers test you know, I’ll be safe! I won’t freak out!” She promised, waving goodbye and shutting the car door.  
Hidgens stood anxiously in the driveway, watching her pull out with his heart in his throat.   
She had been looking at an apartment block not far from Beanies. It wasn’t too expensive and in the long run she’d save a lot of money on fuel living so close to work.   
She parked and got out to look up at the building, shaping it up and try to picture her future there. She found it hard to concentrate, still giddy after the success of her first drive. The apartment was exactly a 7 minute walk which she measured by heading down to the cafe, primarily to boast her win more than anything else.   
“Guess what Zoey!” Emma announced, swinging open the door. “I drove here on my own!”   
Zoey raised one eyebrow, too occupied with a customer to dignify her with a response.   
Emma felt her face flush red, of course it was him. The lanky, black coffee suit guy. Her favourite.   
She rubbed the blush off her face, taking a seat by the door in hopes he wouldn’t notice her without her uniform.  
He shot her a shy smile as he headed out, clearly recognising her face better than her uniform.   
“So you drove?” Zoey asked. “In the shitty car or?” Before she could answer she heard Zoey let out a surprised gasp and froze where she stood, making a half-planned move to shelter Emma but made it no further than the counter.   
“Well look who’s finally deciding to show up!”   
Emma didn’t know how to react. She recognised the heavy footsteps and the anger of the voice before even looking at his face.   
Terror overloaded every other sense and no matter how desperately she needed to run she couldn’t rise from the table.  
She was locked in a stare down with her father. She couldn’t move and he wouldn’t speak.   
She was praying he would be an adult for once, or that Zoey would intervene and kick him out.   
But nothing happened, no one moved.   
“Oh shit,” Zoey’s hand reached for her phone and fumbled with it, unable to hold on with her shaking hands. “I’m getting Nora!” She called, turning tail to the break room.   
“So you think you can just-?” He couldn’t finish his sentence, he wrapped a hand around his throat and let out a frustrated growl. “I’ve been talking with that scam professor.”  
“You’ve been talking?” Her voice cracked and her throat shut. Her words didn’t come out.   
“He got my number. Off your phone probably. He’s trying to organise all this legal shit. Emma, adoption? Have you even heard of this? He’s trying to fucking adopt you?”   
She managed to eye off the break room door, waiting for Zoey or Nora to burst through and rescue her.   
“Well that’s not fucking happening, you’re coming with me.”   
“No!” She shouted. “I’m not going back home!”  
“Yes you are. You have to get your ass home and apologise to your mother for the shock you’ve given her. Adopting! What is that bullshit? What’s that man trying?” He picked her up by the collar, taking full advantage of the way she had frozen.   
Her legs wouldn’t walk with him no matter how much she willed them to.   
He dragged her along, closer and closer to that old, shitty white car. And not a scream could escape her throat.   
He tossed her into the passenger seat and walked around the front of the car to his own seat.   
She tried to swing open the door but he locked them, jerking her away from the handle.   
“Sit still, will you? I’m your father for crying out loud. I’m your father!”   
The car was just as she had remembered it. It slammed the realisation into her chest that it was not the driving she had always been scared of, but this car. The way her dad drove too sharply around corners and way over the speed limit, the way the air didn’t filter properly and wasn’t breathable, the way the walls felt they were closing in on her every second she sat there.   
She reached for her phone, she had to tell Hidgens. She tried messaging him discreetly, only just slipping her phone from her pocket but her hands were shaking too much.  
“What do you think you’re doing?” He snatched it from her hands and rolled down the window, pitching it outside.   
“Dad!?” She gasped, jerking forward so fast that her seatbelt restricted her.   
“You aren’t calling that man to come rescue you. You’re being a fucking adult. You always skimped out of the responsibilities of life, flying out to who knows where for a whole decade. Not calling, not texting, not showing up to your own sister’s goddamn wedding. Do you know you’re an aunt? Do you know have a niece and a nephew and they don’t have a mother!” He slammed his fist on the dashboard. “And you know what? We don’t tell them about you! You’re the family disappointment you know? You’re a sorry excuse for the mother they lost. You run away from all your responsibilities but I’m not letting you leave your mother in a wreck like this! You aren’t being adopted by anyone!”   
“Dad! Shut up!” She tried, forcing the words up from the pit of bottled up rage that burned in her stomach. She pushed through her closed throat, slamming the dashboard just like he had. “I don’t want to go back with you! I meant what I said, I meant what I said! I’m not hopeless, I don’t want to be around you!”   
“Well too bad!” His shout was punctuated by a violent turn, his back wheels skidding across the road. “You’re thirty, woman! And he’s talking legal adoption like you’re some sort of baby!”   
“You don’t treat me like I’m any more than that, dad! I’m an adult, why don’t you let me make my own life choices! I’m tired of being fucking patronised by you!”  
“You will not speak to me like that. You’re getting inside that house, putting on a smile and telling your mother how sorry you are!”   
He was quick to retrieve her from her seat when they reached that dreaded house. He pushed her to her feet like he always did, marching her through the front door with a loud, almost triumphant greeting. The living room was a mess and the table was scattered with takeaway trays and bottles. The air smelt stale like old food and sweat.   
“Look who I found!” He shouted.   
Her mother looked up, her eyes wide and teary.   
“Oh Emma, you’ve come home!”   
“I didn’t!” She spat, trying to step away before her father could get her collar but his arm was too long, and they were back to their puppet game.   
“Tell her you’re sorry,” he growled.   
Emma rolled her shoulders, trying to work up the right words. “I’m sorry that I scared you by vanishing,” was the most she could get out. “But I’m not staying. I’m moving out, whether you like it or not. Because- because I can, I don’t have to stay here to try and be Jane 2.0, that isn’t me,” she stammered, talking quickly to get her ideas out before her inevitable punishment.   
“That is not what I asked you to say! Have a god damn think with that little brain of yours and then you can try again!” He shoved her back down the dark hallway towards her room, delivering her with a slap hard enough to send her sprawling to the ground. “You think you’re above us, but we are only asking simple things of you and you can’t seem to deliver for god knows what reason. Think about your fucking words before you try being clever with me. There’s no Professor to save you this time, so you better start thinking.” He slammed the door and the vibration rocked through Emma’s body.  
She sat there on the floor, a place she had been so many times before.   
And here she was again.   
Back in the darkness, back without Hidgens, back where it all began.   
Except this time she wasn’t going to be hopeless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GhrRK do u know I hate everything abt the way I’ve chosen to write this ktbrbDjb


	19. How could we trust someone like you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma puts on her best performance for her parents

Let it be known that Emma Perkins was not going to sulk in the darkness to lick her wounds this time around.   
She knew much better, once she might’ve sat and taken it, turned the other cheek even, but now she knew the difference between right and wrong and she knew how she was supposed to be treated.  
She could muster up her theatre kid roots and give the performance her father wanted, walk out the door and be home before dinner.  
She went to open her door but found that the knob wouldn’t turn. She tried again, risking to rattle it only once, but the noise was too loud. She had never had trouble with her door knob before but now it wouldn’t turn.   
She kicked her foot against the bottom of the door and gripped onto the handle, leaning back to put all her weight on it.   
The wood let out a creak but didn’t budge.  
She paused, listening for her father’s footsteps but nothing came.  
“Ugh!” She pounded one fist against the door and yanked at it again, having nothing else to do.  
“You aren’t coming out of there until you know how to apologise!” Her father’s deep voice boomed from somewhere inside the house.   
Emma growled, throwing herself down on her bed. She wasn’t going to be defeated by a door.   
Her room had one window, but it didn’t open and she wasn’t quite sure about smashing the glass.   
“Dad!” She called. “Let me out, I can apologise!”   
He wasn’t generous to give her a response.  
“Mum?” She tried.   
Nothing in this house seemed to get along with her.   
She crossed her arms with a hiss, she wasn’t going to settle and be a prisoner in this house. Of course there wasn’t much she could do about it though, maybe wait it out and see if her dad could get in a few more bottles before bed and forget it all.   
“Mum!” She emphasised her shout by knocking on the wall. “Dad!”   
No one answered her cries.  
“Fuck you!”   
“Language!”   
Emma’s jaw dropped but she did not apologise.   
She sat at the foot of her bed with her eyes rooted to the door and a grimace on her face. Sooner or later she was going to get out of here.   
She was so focused on the door she gave up caring about the time and when her dad finally came to let her out it was dark outside. Hidgens would be worrying by now.   
For once she was glad to hear his footsteps and the second the door open she ducked out, darting under his arms like a cat.   
From the outside, she could see a lock had been drilled into her door. A prick of shock poked at her stomach but she didn’t have time to worry.  
“I can apologise! I can apologise!” Emma was quick to announce before her father had the chase to berate her. “I’ve been thinking! Let me speak to mum I can do it!”   
He took her collar with a stern face, but this time he was clearly more willing to give her a chance. “Don’t make a god damn fool out of yourself this time,” he hissed into her ear as he jostled her back to the living room where her mother waited almost unmoving in the same position as before, looking like she had collapsed onto the couch and not quite recovered from the fall.   
“Hi, mum,” Emma rubbed her arm anxiously but worked up the character she had built for the role: A pathetic Emma, an easy to manipulate and obedient girl who was willing to cop the blame for her actions, who knew they were wrong and was going to do her best to make amends. The very antithesis of her reality.   
“I didn’t know how worried I must’ve made you when I stopped coming home. You’ve been so generous to me letting me live here while I get back on my feet and even before that you were always such a great mother,” an heavy, ugly feeling churned her stomach and rolled down her skin. It was a difficult task to say such grossly thoughtful words to someone so absent from their life. “And I was so rude to dad, it’s because I’m still young and confused, and I don’t have as much experience as either of you,” she was going to give them exactly what they wanted to hear from her, she quelled the feeling in her gut and continued on with her act. It ran through her mind briefly that she could put on a much better performance if she had the room to move but her dad held her tight.   
“Yes,” her dad agreed. “She doesn’t understand yet.”  
“I don’t, but now that I’ve seen just how much heartbreak I’ve put you through I understand how hard it is to be a mother and to lose your dearest child and then have the other go on completely unchanged, I must have caused such stress for you. I’ve been so bad.” The mendacity of the situation was almost laughable, but her dad hadn’t pushed her about too much so her lines were clearly working.   
“I could never apologise enough, and now that dad’s given me time to think about I realise I could never give you the apology you deserve.” She ended with a low bow that she hoped looked like humility.   
But then her father pressed his knuckles into the back of her neck where he held her and she searched through her mind for what she could’ve possibly left out.   
“I hope you can forgive me after all I’ve done, I know I’ve been bad but I love you mum.”  
“We’re so happy you feel that way Emma, but how do we know we can trust you again? You’re going to have to work hard to get that trust back, okay?” As relieved as she seemed her words were still hollow, nothing more than a mother carrying out the role society expected of her.   
“I will,” Emma lied, feeding back the adjacency pair like lines from a script. Her words were just as empty.   
Another prod, this time to say ‘keep on moving, a different topic.’  
She shot him a shy, confused look, sure she had said all she could possibly say.   
“She also wanted to tell you-“ he began with a grunt, as if this one disappointment made her whole speech worthless. “About how she’s not going back with the Professor. She’s decided to stay with us.”   
Emma gaped, but her mother seemed overcome with relief.   
She couldn’t even utter any sort of disagreement before her father tightened his grip, pulling her collar from the back until it was up against the front of her neck, cutting off her words like a knife.   
“She’s staying with us until we work something out, okay? Emma says it was wrong, she says she wasn’t going to let herself be adopted by some stranger we don’t know. So now Emma and I are going to have a little talk and sort this all out. You don’t have to worry about anything, love.” He told his wife in quick, blunt statements before pushing her back to her room.   
She had gotten good at digging her heels in but it was better not to fight when he had his hands so close to her neck.   
“I thought you were letting me leave,” she tried.   
“Well how can we trust you? How can I trust you after that stunt? Are you all tired out playing hero now? Cut your mother a bit of slack. Lucky for you I’ve had just about enough, you’ve made my job hard enough. If you want out so badly we’ve discussed getting you an apartment near the house. You aren’t going back with that crazy man! In the mean time, you stay here. This door stays locked if I don’t need you. Maybe if you earn up a little trust we won’t have to lock it as often.” He gave her a look as if to suggest how reasonable this train of thought was for him.   
Emma didn’t let her disgust show. “I’ll try, dad.” At least he didn’t slam the door when he left.   
Well she was going to earn that trust one way or another, and she knew she could.   
She was going to be smart and resourceful and brave, everything Hidgens had said she was, as she was going to make both of them proud.


	20. One goal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma has one goal, her father has a completely different one

Emma was awoken by the sound of the lock on her door clicking open.  
She must’ve fallen asleep on the floor waiting for her dad to let her out.  
She scrambled to her feet, brushing out the creases in her shirt and waiting eagerly for the door to swing open.  
Her dad knocked one knuckle on the back of her door and she let out a grunt to tell him he could open it.  
“Get up,” he told her, stepping through the doorway into her room. “Your mother made breakfast. Eat it.”  
Emma was quick to summon up her new character. She didn’t quite have the nerve to give a name to that aspect of her personality in fear of what it might lead to, but she called obedient, doting Emma to the surface.  
“Oh that sounds great dad! It smells lovely, mum’s cooking is always so great!”  
“Well she hasn’t been cooking anything lately after you went missing. You scared the life out of her. She’s only cooking to celebrate you coming back down to earth,” he gestured to the roof. “Get your head out of the clouds.”  
“Yes, I’m sorry dad. You were right when you said I was just playing pretend. I had a little rebellious streak but it was immature in hindsight.”  
He flicked his wrist to get her moving to the kitchen and she followed loyally behind him.  
The sound of his heavy stomps on the creaking floorboard made her heart jump with every step but she couldn’t let it show. She had to think about how brave and smart Hidgens would say she was once she escaped.  
That poor man must be absolutely worried out of his mind by now.  
He gave her a quick shove towards her seat where a plate was waiting for her.  
“Looks delicious, mum, thank you so much. I really don’t deserve this after I ran away like that,” she batted her eyes, holding her hand to her heart. No matter how much she used this character it all still felt disgusting and vile to speech to adoringly about people she couldn’t stand.  
Hidgens always told her not to take shit from anyone but her dignity wasn’t worth more than escaping this borderline hostage situation.  
“Good, sit. Sit down and stay for a moment and talk to me.”  
Emma tried not to wince, she hated the talking. “So umm... what are you guys up to today?”  
Her dad grunted and her mother shrugged. Neither of them got out much after Jane’s death.  
“Because I’ve got to go to work,” she lied. Zoey had managed to change her shifts for her, but her father didn’t know.  
Her dad raised one eyebrow, after being away from Emma for so long he seemingly forgot her busy, constantly-out routine. It was a crack in the wall, he had forgotten about that.  
“Work?”  
“Yeah. I’ve got school today too.”  
Her dad shook his head and cleared his throat, one hand clamping down on Emma’s shoulder. “No, you aren’t going back to that school. Not until we talk to that school about the professor. That, or you’ve got to transfer.”  
“What!?” Emma couldn’t conceal her surprise.  
Her dad didn’t like the real Emma coming out and tighten his fingers around her shoulders in warning. “We told you. You aren’t going anywhere near that man.”  
Emma coughed to clear her throat and ran her hands once through her hair to quell her urge to pull at it. Her mind blinked out, for only a second she dropped her façade.  
“Oh dear, no don’t frown.” Her mother leant across the table to take her hands in hers and it made Emma’s skin crawl at the unfamiliar touch. Her father just took a step away. “He was putting bad things in your head, he wouldn’t let you talk to us. He ruined our communication, you know how important communication is in this family.”  
Emma flinched and couldn’t pick up her dropped façade. She wanted to yell and thrash and pull away from her parent’s grip. She felt like they were holding her tight, keeping her still so she couldn’t run.  
“We don’t have communication,” Emma tried to say.  
“What do you mean?” Both parents cut in at once to try and keep up the happy family appearance.  
Emma sighed, she wasn’t going to bother. She pulled her facade back on sloppily like a jacket that had been put on too fast. She gave a crooked smile and a cheeky laugh. “No, I can’t think of anything. Maybe just that one time I forgot to give dad enough warning to pick me up from class, but that was my fault really. I should’ve reminded him.” She gave a guilty laugh. “Mum, you’re really good with words.” The perfect backhanded compliment to the woman who never wanted any part in her life up until now.  
Emma took another bite to fill in the silence. “But um, I’ve got to go to work today.”  
“Can’t you call in?” Her dad asked suddenly.  
Emma shifted in her chair to hide the spike of anger. He was really trying to keep her there. “I can’t,” she had always been good with excuses. “I’m actually covering for someone else who’s away today, so they need me in there.”  
Her dad grimaced and moaned, sharing a look with her mother. “We need to have a talk with you. When are you supposed to go to work?”  
“Now.” She gripped her fork tighter in her hand. “I’m supposed to be there soon. That’s why I was already awake when you came to get me.”  
“Oh Emma,” her mother eyed the clock and sighed. “When do you get home? We need to have a very important talk about what that man was doing. We were about to call the police!”  
She wanted to laugh, they hadn’t even noticed she had been missing for a week or so.  
“Go get dressed then, hurry,” her dad flicked his wrist and she didn’t hesitate to bolt off down to her room.  
She only had once chance and she didn’t want to stick around for ‘that talk.’  
She scavenged through her draws for the clothes she had left behind, finding an old uniform that didn’t fit her as well anymore but would have to do.  
She tied her bow messily as she hurried out to the car where her father was waiting. “I can walk!” She insisted.  
“No, no. I’m driving you. Get in.”  
He never gave her a choice. She sat in the back seat this time, she didn’t want to be anywhere near his hands.  
She took in one deep breath to calm herself as the engine started. Instead of panicking she focused on a plan.  
She could borrow Zoey’s phone to message Hidgens and let him know where she was and that she was safe. And then they would have to figure out something together.  
She had to stop the nervous tapping of her foot that she didn’t know had started.  
“Thanks dad,” Emma unbuckled her seatbelt before he had even parked. “I’ll walk home, don’t know when I’m getting off.”  
“No, you aren’t walking home.” He stepped out of the car as well.  
Emma didn’t like the sinking feeling she was getting in her chest as he followed her into the store. “Do you want coffee?” She offered.  
“Just bring me something.”  
Zoey was just unlocking the front door as Emma entered.  
“Emma?” Her jaw dropped. Her eyes darted up to look at her father, following closely behind and shut her mouth.  
“I’m here for my shift,” Emma announced, exchanging a look with her manager who gave a surprised nod, not knowing what else to do.  
“Can you go set up the register?” She stepped aside so Emma could dart to the backroom. “Can I get you anything sir?” She offered.  
Emma didn’t hear the rest of the conversation, her heart was drumming in her ears. Her father wasn’t leaving, he was staying, he was going to watch her.  
“Hey, Em. You don’t have to go back there. She said the register,” her dad clicked his fingers and spoke in his usual gruff voice but he was starting to lose his control.  
Emma stopped only a step away from the door. “I have to clock in dad and get my apron on,” she explain.  
“Be quick.”  
Emma’s apron felt familiar today. It was a piece of sanctuary in the chaos of her plan. She tucked her hands into the pocket and let out a deep, exhausted sigh. It felt nice to be out of her father’s eyes for a moment but she wasn’t going to push her luck.  
She pushed the door open back out onto the floor and resumed her position behind the register.  
Her dad was sitting by the door with a small, bitter cup of coffee in his hands. He looked tense.  
Zoey stood besides her at the counter and tried to whisper something but her father glared at Emma, his eyes twitching.  
He was just as stressed as her. Today, more than ever they had two opposite goals. All she needed was to escape, get as far from him as possible, but he had made it his primary goal to keep her in his line of sight all day.  
“Hey,” Zoey tried to clear her throat, not quite sure what sort of drama was happening but definitely aware she was caught in the crossfire. “Do you know you’d look really cute with some blush on your cheeks? Hold on, I have a touch up bag in the back room. Could you grab it for me?” She waved her hand by her waist as she spoke to grab Emma’s attention. Once Emma was looking she instead gestured as if she were texting.  
Emma nodded, beyond relieved Zoey had gotten the idea. She ducked out before her father could ask her to stop.  
She searched through Zoey’s bag for her phone, slipping it into her apron pocket and bringing back her makeup pouch with her.  
“See? You’re going to love this.” Zoey was just as good if not better at this whole façade thing, she put on a wide smile as she unzipped the pouch.  
Emma could catch a glimpse of her real worry shine through for only a second as she examined Emma’s skin.  
“Well, just look at this,” she ran her thumb through the powder of one of her many cases before sliding it over her cheekbone. ‘Bruise,’ she mouthed.  
Emma gritted her teeth as Zoey covered it up.  
“So, d’you have a good weekend?”  
“Yup,” Emma tried to sound convincing but it was hard to nod or grin when Zoey was lathering makeup onto her cheeks. “I moved back in with my parents,” she explained, clenching her fist behind the coffee machine where her father wouldn’t be able to see.  
She watched zoey’s eyes flit to the fist she made and nodded. “Sounds cool,” she played off the negativity in her voice as concentration. “There! Doesn’t that look good? I’ll take a photo for you,” she reached into Emma’s apron pocket for her phone but with a little bit of space work she made it appear to Emma’s father that it had come from her own pocket. She fiddled with it for a moment before handing it to Emma. “What do you think?” She asked.  
She had her notes open on her phone, with the single line ‘are you okay??’ written down.  
“Wow, this looks great!” Emma managed to exclaim, typing back in quick, fragmented sentences. ‘No. In danger please call my friend’ she added his number into the note. ‘My dad doesn’t know, trying to make sure I can’t leave I am okay but need help’  
Zoey placed her phone down on the bench to play it off more subtlety. “Yeah, I’m getting really good at doing makeup for people. I did it for a friend at her 21st. Hey, are you okay to watch the floor? I’m supposed to sign off on an order for Nora at the backdoor.” She lowered her voice as she spoke on but put emphasis on the last word. “Are you okay to keep an eye out here while I take care of something really quick? Thanks!” Zoey held her phone close to her chest as she ducked out into the back room.  
“Emma,” her dad cleared his throat and wiped a drip of coffee off his lip. “We’ve got to talk about this whole...” he made a vague gesture with his hand. Emma groaned. “This whole thing.”  
“What thing?”  
Before her dad could answer a customer arrived. He shut his mouth.  
Emma served them with a pleasant smile, drawing out the interaction as long as she could. God, she didn’t not want to have any sort of talk with her parents. But eventually the customer left, and they were left in silence.  
“You can’t go around telling everyone about what’s going on Emma,” he tried again. “You need to understand that everything that has been happening is just for us to talk about. Your parents are having a hard time after what happened to Jane and...” he heaved a sigh and ran his hands through his short hair. “We’re struggling. We aren’t well and we can’t have you making a bigger deal out of this for us by blabbing about it.”  
Emma scrunched up a napkin inside her fist. “It’s hard for you huh?”  
“We lost our daughter. You know we’re struggling.”  
“Mhm,” Emma gave a nonchalant nod, her fingernails tearing through the napkin and boring into her skin. “I can really only imagine how hard it’s been for you,” she couldn’t restrain herself from letting out a wry, mocking laugh.  
“What’s funny?” He snapped.  
Emma’s eyes widened and she dropped them to the ground, silencing herself. “Sorry. I was just,” she fiddled with a cup on the table to seem more productive.  
“You can’t say a word,” he reminded her.  
“Sorry, everything good out here?” Zoey let out a breathless sigh as she pushed open the door back into the main floor. She wiped her hands on her apron. “It was a big delivery. Sorry for taking so long, I had a lot to explain some stuff to the delivery guy,” she shot Emma a subtle nod. “Are you alright out here?”  
“Yep. Not too busy just yet.” Emma’s shoes scuffed the floor anxiously.  
“Well can you just read this tax receipt and let me know if it’s all there?” She pulled a scrap of paper from her pocket, once more placing it down where Emma’s father couldn’t see it. 

‘Called him, he’s on his way. He says he has everything sorted.’ 

Emma nodded, her hand brushing over Zoey’s in thanks. “Yes, yes everything’s there.” She only had to hold out a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Accidentally went through some shit & had to take some time to think abt it, I’m gonna try and post this on its regular schedule but might slow down a bit bc things are a bit of a shitshow rn


	21. Racing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She’s finally with Hidgens again

Emma dared to shoot glances at her dad when the line was busy, only enough to see his back or his shoes, never his face. No matter what she was up to he was always watching her.  
He knew she had information he couldn’t let slip. He had hit her twice now, and he wasn’t going to let that news get out.  
She sweated under his gaze, her eyes fixed on the clock, watching each and every second pass in a pained agony.  
She just wanted Hidgens. She just wanted to curl up under a blanket on the couch in his study and listen to his voice.  
“Do you really work all day?” Her dad had asked once he made it to the front of the line again.  
He didn’t have much better to do than drink their shitty coffee and he was starting to grow shaky and agitated.  
“I’ve always worked all day, it’s okay you couldn’t tell, you’re always very busy yourself dad.” Although playing the role of the perfect daughter wasn’t stopping her from rebelling offstage. Emma was purposely making each coffee worst than the last, giving him drinks he didn’t ask for and serving them too cold, he never seemed to even notice the difference.  
“Large black coffee,” he told her. “Quickly.”  
Emma nodded. “I’ll make that right up just for you dad.”  
“Good girl.” He stomped back to his table, watching her over his shoulder as he walked.  
She pulled out a small cup and made up a cold brew instead, creaming it, throwing in marshmallows and three shots of espresso.  
It looked disgusting. She grinned.  
When she dropped it off at his table he drank it without even realising. He was bouncing his leg, his foot thumping the ground. “Hey,” he grabbed the corner of her apron. “How much longer till you’re off then? This talk, Emma,” he tried once more.  
“I work all day. You can go home if you want.”  
“I’m not leaving you on your own,” he stated, and she knew why. “I’m staying here till closing if I god damn have to,” he grunted, his eyes darting to the window.  
He was starting to grow restless and the coffee wasn’t helping.  
As she returned to the counter Zoey slipped her a receipt.  
She turned it over, a note was scrawled on the back in a dark purple sharpie.

‘he’s out the back’

Emma gasped, barely able to contain herself. “Zoey can you watch the counter? I’ve got to uh-“ she didn’t have an excuse. “I’m going on break!”  
Zoey gave her a pat on the back, resuming Emma’s spot at the register.  
Her dad whipped around as she managed to stammer this out.  
“Em, come sit here,” he gestured to his table.  
Well shit. The only thing standing between her and safety was an excuse and for the first time she couldn’t seem to think of one.  
“Emma, you come sit here with me.” He tapped his finger on the table demandingly.  
Emma’s eyes widened. She shook her head. “I’ve got to go,” she breathed.  
“She’s got to go clock onto her break,” Zoey tried to explain. “She’ll have to go out back.”  
“You be quiet!” He raised his voice but it wasn’t purposeful, and he quickly brought it back down. “I wasn’t talking to you.”  
Zoey held her hands up innocently. “Sir,” she swallowed.  
Her father marched up to stand by the counter, one of his hands darting out to grab Emma’s apron but not quite making it.  
“I’ve got to go.” Emma’s anxiety was set off by his footsteps alone, she had no answer. She darted to the backroom before she could even thank her manager.  
She fiddled with the doorknob to the exit, her hands clammy. She heard Zoey yell something at her father before he yelled something back. Right before she managed to get the door open the bell above the entrance door rang as her father left.  
She saw Hidgens’ car before she could look around to find him, and he took her up into his arms before she could even speak.  
“Oh Emma!” He started, breathless. “Emma, you’re safe? You’re safe right? Oh, I barely slept. I knew I shouldn’t have let you go on your own! That was my mistake, oh this is my fault. Come on. We’re getting you out of here. Get in, get in the car,” he spoke without room for a breath, and despite how much he insisted they get to the car he couldn’t let go of the embrace, but neither could she.  
“Hidgens,” she wasn’t going to start crying. “Hidgens I’m fine now. I’m all fine. We’ve got to go before my dad notices.”  
He snapped back into it at the mention of her father. “Yes. You’re right. Let’s go.”  
He himself seemed to anxious to start driving, and he fiddled with his seatbelt and the rear view mirror. “Emma, I’m going to have to drive fast. Is that okay? We have to get out of here before he notices.”  
“How fast?” Emma bit her lip as he began to reverse. “No, it’s okay, I can handle it.”  
Emma dug her nails into the seat and bit down on her tongue as he continued to accelerate, sure every second that they had peaked and would not move any faster, but of course each time she was wrong.  
“Still okay?” He asked, raising is voice over the engine.  
“Still okay!” She told him hopefully. “God, I sure as shit hope so at least!” She dug her nails in further until her fingertips were starting to hurt.  
She noticed his eyes dart up to the rear view mirror and squint.  
“Sweetheart,” his voice was quick. “Sweetheart close your eyes.”  
“What?!”  
“Just keep them shut okay?!” He pressed, his foot jamming down harder on the lever.  
Emma wrenched them shut without needing to be asked again. She had a perfect idea of what Hidgens had seen following them in the mirror.  
“Only a little bit longer, Emma,” his teeth were gritted and he delivered his speech in a deep, frustrated tone before cursing under his breath. He served a corner tightly, but his car stayed on the road, it didn’t bounce over the curb or toss Emma to the side.  
Everything was still safe as long as she was by his side.  
The car burst forward one final time and Emma could no longer keep her eyes shut.  
He zoomed past a green light just as it flicked to red and swerved around another corner, looping down a back street where they would not be found.  
He pulled the car to a halt and leant back into his seat, breathless. “Oh Emma,” he gasped, his eyes wide as he came to terms with whatever it was he had done. “Oh I probably broke a few speed limits,” his eyes were wide and absent for just a second longer before he twisted in his seat to look at Emma.  
Her chest was rising and falling rapidly in a struggle for breath.  
“Are you alright?”  
“Was he following us?”  
“That’s not important. What matters is that we’re both safe now.”  
“Yeah?” She rubbed her eyes. “Safe?”  
He nodded. “I’m certain. The second I realised what must’ve happened I came up with a plan. I’ve been working tirelessly over this and I promise you,” he took one of her hands, shaking it to emphasise his point. “No-“ he pressed his free hand to his forehead. “I’ve promised you a lot Emma, and I’ve never been able to pull through. I’m so sorry I let you down but don’t worry this time. It’s all worked out now. I know I won’t break this promise. You never have to worry again.”


	22. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma reaches the light at the end of that dark tunnel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk if the last chapter uploaded properly?? Ifhdjfhsj hopefully!!  
Also there’s a bit of an implied time skip!

“So this is your new place, huh?” Hidgens gazed around Emma’s new apartment. “It’s cosy.”   
Emma chuckled, she liked a smaller apartment. “Yeah, your place is much bigger,” she pulled out a seat for him at the table. “But I like this place, it’s nice. It’s all I need,” she smiled, adjusting the bunch of flowers she had brought to brighten the place up. “It’s close to work, and it’s close to your house too. That way I can stop by and see you whenever!”   
Hidgens set down a stack of legal paper on her table. “Yes, I’m sure you’ll do great here. But you can always come back if you ever need, alright?”   
Emma gave the back of her neck a nervous rub. “Hah, well I just didn’t wanna-“   
“No, no Emma don’t start with this burden thing again. I’ve been over this with you. You’ve never been a bother. Do you understand my dearest?”   
Emma giggled and nodded sheepishly, she could never seem to win that argument with him. “Yes, I get it. I’m working on it.” She sat down across from him and tapped one finger on the corner of his paper stack. “So,” the spoke more hesitantly. “This is it?”   
Hidgens nodded. “I didn’t want to put you under any more stress, so I figured this would be the best option for you.” He shuffled through them and handed her a sheet. “I figured it wouldn’t be best for your mental health if your father got sent to jail over all this. But I’ve been speaking with a lawyer and he’s suggested a temporary restraining order. Your father is being sent to rehab for his drinking problems, so if in three years time you decide you want to try and make things up with your family they’ll all be there.” He spoke with a certain air to his words, that he understood Emma was her own adult and no longer needed him, he knew this was his last task for her. “All my promises can finally be made to you.”  
“Wow, that sounds perfect,” she eyed over the paper, looking for the catch. “Almost too good. What about mum?”   
“Well she never caused you too much trouble did she? I got to speak to her personally actually. She’s going to counselling now. The both of them are going to make a better effort not to take their grief out on you dear.” He reaches his arm across the table to rest his hand on top of hers. “Do you feel alright?”   
“Yeah,” she breathed. “Yeah. It’s just like wow, how long did this take you? Was the lawyer expensive? Was it difficult?”   
“Well I’m not answering any of those questions if it’s getting you ruminating. It’s not a problem if it’s for your safety, that’s my main concern and my first priority dear.”   
Emma sniffled and forced a small laugh. “It’s all been so shit and I know I never looked too happy but this has been the best month of my life, you know?”   
Hidgens returned her shaky smile. “Mine too, dear. You’re my biggest achievement.”   
Emma chuckled and ran her hands through a strand of her hair. “Hidgens, it’s different. It’s like, sometimes I felt I was so down and in such a circle of negative thinking that no matter what I would be a lost cause. I’d be too scared to try and get better, I never thought I’d smile. But it’s just in the little things, you know? Like how you always got Alexa to put up the gates while I was there so I knew I was safe. And how you’d make my bed if I had to leave early. And that one time I came home from work really late and you stayed up just to pick me up!”  
“Well I would do any of that for you if I knew it was helping. I’m glad you noticed the difference.”  
Emma rolled her head around like she didn’t quite want to shake it but needed to take the floor somehow. “I felt like I was something that couldn’t be saved. But-“  
“Oh Emma!” He stopped her before she could continue. “We can all be saved, I promise. Oh my dear, never consider yourself a lost cause.”   
Emma nodded this time. “You’ve really made me feel otherwise. I feel happy and safe. In fact I feel sorry for the next person who tries to give me shit. Today Nora brought back this singing tipping song shit from Cold Stone, and I said ‘Nora that’s an awful idea!’”  
“And what did she say?”   
“Oh,” Emma snorted. “Nah, yeah she ignored me. But I did put myself out there! I’m so much more confident, the other day that tall guy in the suit came in, and I said ‘I’ll see you next time man,’ and his hand touched mine when I handed him his cup. it was really casual and I didn’t mess up or stumble on it. So that was great.”   
Hidgens teasingly rolled his eyes. “Keep it up and by the end of the year you might be able to make eye contact with him. Not quite first base, more the 0.7th base but-“  
“Hey!” Emma cut him off with a sharp laugh. “You know sometimes he comes in with a cute girl with glasses, the other day she told me the coffee was great so you know, it could go either way.” Then she paused, as if not realising the implications of her words. “Uh, I mean like-“  
“Emma, dear, oh my god.” Hidgens pressed one hand to his eye socket as if to drown some annoyance. “Don’t you dare stammer. I do not care if you date a man or a woman or anyone. I didn’t take care of you these past months just for you to think I would reject you if you were gay.”   
Emma barely had time to speak before Hidgens stood up. “Come here, give me a hug dear.” He hauled her from her seat to wrap his arms around her in a tight hug. “Dear, I can’t even think of something you would be capable of that would make me hate you.” He swayed her from side to side and Emma couldn’t keep up.   
She laughed, trying to stay on her feet as the taller man spun her around in his hug.   
Emma finally wrapped her hands around his back and smiled into his chest as she adjusted her stance, putting her feet on top of his shoes. “I feel like I’ve known you much longer than I have, Hidgens. Ive never felt happier or safer than I have meeting you.”   
“It’s because we’re family!” He told her jovially, spinning her around again. “And no matter what, I love you dear!”   
Emma giggled, she had finally reached the light at the other end of the tunnel, and she had all she needed right besides her. “I love you too, dad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I know fuck all abt the law 
> 
> ***yes there IS! One more chapter, I’ve been working on the last chapter for two or three days now hoo hoo hoo and oh boy


	23. Show Stopping Number

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felt like a bit of a bitCh when people said they wouldn’t wait to see what happened in the final chapter when I knew this was coming fjshfjshdbfb we all really be out here writing dad Hidgens fics and no one was gonna touch on this bc OUCH this hurt

“Worried about Paul?” Hidgens had come to stand behind Emma, one hand gently on her shoulder.  
She gave a brief nod but then shrugged. “He’ll be fine, I’m sure. I’m just really tired,” Emma drew a hand over her eyes.   
“Just kiss already,” Ted huffed from over his drink. “Too bad, Paul and Bill are already dead. They’re not coming back. It’s a death sentence going out there,” he gestured vaguely in the direction of the door.   
“With all due respect sir, Ted, was it? Don’t upset Emma like that. Your friends will be fine, I’m sure.” His own voice wavered in its certainty, but he held Emma’s shoulder tighter.   
“They’re dead,” Ted repeated. “What, one shotgun versus a whole ass town of those singing zombie fucks? Useless.” He hung his head to dull the headache forming in the back of his skull.   
“Shut up! Can you not say that?” Emma snapped. “Paul is going to be fine! Right Professor?” She turned her head to look up at him hopefully.   
He nodded hopefully for her.   
“Can you cut the bullshit with her man!?” He stood from his chair. It wasn’t fair for him to lose Charlotte if Emma was going to get off without any loss. “Don’t act so positive, this is the fucking apocalypse. Do you hear me sweetheart?” Ted spot, lunging one arm forward to point at Emma.   
What he hadn’t expected was such a strong reaction, she fell back into the professor’s chest, her eyes wide and focused on the beer bottle.   
“I think you’ve had quite enough to drink sir.” His arms wrapped protectively around her, pulling her gently to the side so he could stand between the two.   
“Whatever. Let’s get out of here I can’t stand it.” He tipped his head up to avoid looking at Charlotte’s body.   
“Have you been getting all your rest dear? You’re exhausted.” Hidgens had leant down to murmur to Emma as they left the bar.   
“Well it’s been a pretty big day as you can imagine.” She grimaced and shivered at the thought. “But I’m fine.”   
“Perfect, you’ll need to be,” he tilted his head to the side to signal something.   
“Yeah, lab,” Emma picked up on the gesture and even though Ted lined up behind Hidgens, it was Emma who lead the way.  
“I never knew you had a bar, Hidgens,” Emma admitted.   
“Well I couldn’t imagine I would be doing us any favours taking you down there,” he nudged her side gently as they walked. “I’m never down there much myself.” He cleared his throat to change the topic, Emma clearly looked uncomfortable.   
“I’ve got a sample under the microscope already. It’s...” his face scrunched up in thought.   
“Fascinating?” Emma suggested.   
“Exactly, Emma!” He grinned, and even Emma managed a smile back despite the situation they were all in.   
“Can you get me a beaker dear?” Hidgens asked as they entered the lab.   
“Yeah dad,” she left to the other side of the room to search through his draws.   
“Dad?” Ted echoed. “I’m sorry, I thought you were her professor! You raised that girl?”   
Hidgens snorted. “Her professor, correct, but ‘raised’ is a bit of an overstatement Ted.”   
“Where’s her mother?”   
He shrugged, leaning into the microscope and squinting. “Not a single clue.”   
“Shouldn’t you-?” He shook the bottle in his hand. “Have a better idea? At least be worried?”   
“I’m as worried for that woman as I am any other civilian, maybe even a little less. I don’t even know her name.”   
Ted let out a confused grunt, trying to piece together a family tree in his head but coming back with nothing. He was too drunk to think anyways.   
“You really do have a whole ass lab down here, huh?” Ted huffed, looking at the microscopes set up on the desk. “You aren’t gonna wear gloves or anything?” Ted gestured to the professor’s hands.   
“Hm?” Hidgens pulled back from the microscope to give him a look.   
“Never mind,” he shrugged and sighed, chugging down his drink and dropping the empty bottle on the table.   
“Here,” Emma placed a beaker down besides him before sitting up on the table and kicking her legs underneath in an almost childlike way.   
“Ah perfect, that’s exactly what I was looking for.” He flicked off the light on the microscope and took the slide, pouring the goo into the beaker before shaking it about. “What does that look like to you now Emma?”   
Emma squinted and stared at it through the glass, leaning in to Hidgens’ side to get a better look. “Still looks like blue shit to me, just in a beaker now.”  
He laughed before turning it around to show Ted.   
“Woah man, don’t bring that shit anywhere near me. I’m not taking a chance. That shit looks awful.”   
Hidgens put one arm over Emma’s shoulder and hunched down ever so slightly to bring the beaker back down to her level. “I’m going to run a few tests on this. Would you mind keeping me company?”   
“Yeah sure!” She offered just a little bit too quickly. “I need something to take my mind off-“ She grumbled and tugged at her hair. “Yeah, I can help.”  
“Ted, would you like to keep us company?” He asked, extending one hand to him.   
“No! You guys do your creepy scientist shit, I’m heading back to the bar or the living room or some shit,” he jerked his finger angrily over his shoulder.   
“You’ve been getting a bit kooky ever since I left you here on your own huh?” He heard Emma teasing the professor as he left. “You just aren’t yourself.”   
“It’s a big house, and it’s very quiet now,” he responded somewhat eerily.   
Somewhere in the house a grandfather clock tolled.   
Ted snorted, he wasn’t sticking around to get infected.   
The house was way bigger than it looked from the outside and all of a sudden he was a bit too drunk to find his way to the bar again.   
“Alexa, where the fuck is the bar?” He grunted, certain he hadn’t gone up this many flights of stairs on the way to the lab.   
He got to a certain point where he had no other choice but to try every door he came across. There was nothing particularly interesting, it was exactly as one would expect from an old man living by himself aside from the odd surplus of legal documents, half-marked tests and the keyboard in the study. And to add to that, what was definitely a girl’s room on the second floor.   
He flopped down on the couch in the living room, done with trying to find the bar in this labyrinth of a home anyways.  
“Uh-“ he looked up at the sound of footsteps and in the darkness of the unlit hallway he saw a flash of blue. “Professor?”   
He was standing in the archway, Emma cradled to his chest. Her head was rolled back and her jaw was hanging open. His eyes were wide with surprise and Ted didn’t remember them being so blue.   
“Is she okay?” Ted eased himself up from his seat, he didn’t like the way this felt.   
“She’s going to be just fine,” Hidgens assured him in a voice that wasn’t quite right. “Yes, we’re all going to be just fine Ted.” He laid Emma’s unconscious body down on the couch and made his way across the room to Ted, his hands fiddling with something in his coat pocket.   
“How’s the work in the lab going?” Ted took a cautious step back as the professor approached.   
“It’s all going perfectly. Emma just needed to take a little break.”   
Emma let out a pained groan from her spot on the sofa and one arm hung limp off the side of the couch.   
Ted was an expert on taking breaks, he knew what a break was and that was not it.   
“Well I’m gonna stay up here with the girl while you keep that up okay?” He took another step back but there wasn’t much more room behind him by the time the Professor was at his side.  
“There’s no need for that Ted, no, no need for that at all.” From his pocket he drew a long needle, he examined it only long enough for Ted to grow frightened, but before he could register anything else, his legs grew numb and he collapsed.   
———————————————————

“What? What? What the fuck?” His eyes were heavy and there was a throbbing pain in his neck. He tossed his head back to throw the hair out of his eyes and noticed he couldn’t move. Something dug into his wrists and strapped him to the chair underneath him.   
Emma was sitting behind him, shifting anxiously in her seat in an attempt to free herself but her legs barely touched the ground and she couldn’t gain any motion.   
“So,” came that dreaded voice. “You’re finally awake.” The man with the blue eyes emerged from the darkness, a wild, starved look on his face.  
He could feel Emma’s whole body began to shake. “Professor Hidgens, what are you doing?” She managed to gasp.   
“Exactly what needs to be done,” his voice was ominous and sinister, but his eyes searched Emma’s and his hands shook as if they wanted to reach out for her against his body’s will. “Alexa, open the gates, turn off the fences, shut it all down.”   
“Professor!” Emma yelped. “The fences are the only things protecting us!” He could feel Emma tense and try to yank herself free.   
“Protecting us from what Emma!?” The question frustrated him, his fists clenched and his voice raised.  
Emma flinched, pressing her back up against Ted’s.  
“The end of the world? What’s protecting us from nuclear holocaust, over population, climate change!?” He lowered his voice as he knelt down beside her, placing one hand on her shoulder as he always did and looking up at her with some sort of deep sorrow. “Emma,” he began, his weak voice now cracking. “The world was already doomed. Not by them,” he paused, tapping his fingers lightly to his heart. “But by us.”   
Ted shifted in his chair, dragging it to the side to get a better look at what was going on.   
“I was trying to save something that could not be saved,” he sounded apologetic, like he had made too many promises that he couldn’t keep. “Until now.”   
And for the first time, Ted looked over at Emma, hunched in her chair and looking distraught. The situation was bad, but there was something deeper, something more going on for her.   
Hurt, hurt. He looked into her eyes and saw nothing but hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for staying tuned along to this very self indulgent fic of mine 💕 definitely used it as a platform for talking abt mental health in some parts but the real moral is to just spread a little bit more kindness and safety out into the world. This was a bit carthartic to write and I’m sad it’s over but thank you all so much for your support💖💖

**Author's Note:**

> More chapters to come w this one !


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